My son the angry bird

Loghan has always had a temper issue honestly I am not all surprised that one of my kids did end up with this problem I can fly off the handle when IO have had enough and my ex has a temper as well but it is only aggravated by his adhd and social issues which compound on each other and its frankly a vicious circle.

Anyhoo on the weekend we got into an argument over something I asked him to do which resulted in him having some time out in his room, when I checked on him a little later and sat down on his bed to talk I asked him why he got so angry etc and talked about managing his anger, he then piped up, mommy I am an angry bird I am just like red the angry bird I try to stay calm but sometimes I just cant... bless your heart my child.

Angry birds are of course all the rage right now and we have the movie at home when I sat down and thought of it it made perfect logical sense and I decided to use the movie as a tool, score one for this mamma, I told him to think of the end of the movie when Red remembers what the judge said about anger not always being the solution/answer, this made perfect sense to him and resulted in the rest of the weekend being quite uneventful and somewhat peaceful... as peaceful as it can be with 3 monkey boys anyway.

Are your kids mini angry birds any tips would be appreciated =)

Random weekend mumbles

This weekend started off really great I had high hopes for a fun filled weekend with the kids.

On Saturday Loghan and I jumped in the car to attend a play group attend by moms and kiddos on the spectrum (yes the spectrum is incredibly broad) and I am so incredibly pleased to say Loghan had an absolute ball, he hit it off so well with another boy of his age and we are so looking forward to the next time they can play again, it really was just incredible and wonderful to see Loghan so at ease just having fun and able to be himself I haven't seen that for a very long time in fact this morning as I chased him through the quad like a zombie after brains in order to cheer him up after I reprimanded him for teasing his brother... sigh, I hugged him and walked away, looking back every so often as I walked away I saw him run enthusiastically up to a girl in his class, arms out stretched for a hug and she literally walked past him he then walked away and found another group but as I watched I could see how he just didn't fit the mold there and it is incredibly heartbreaking and sometimes makes me question our decision of a main stream school even though it is a great school sometimes I just feel heartbroken at the fact that he is so misunderstood, which becomes even more apparent when I see how well he fit in on Saturday.

After the play date we went home to bake cookies, all three monkeys there was cookie dough everywhere but they had a ball especially when they got to taste their creations, we then settled down with movies and games for the rest of the day.

Sunday I woke up feeling terrible so we honestly didn't do much but often I find that these times are the most precious.

By yesterday I was man down with a bug so spent literally the whole day on the couch or in a warm bath bath it really wasn't a pleasant experience but today I am back at work at least partially recovered and so we go on.

I am really looking forward to Loghan's play date this weekend, there are no social groups in our area so when I saw another moms appeal for a play date for her son I jumped at the opportunity and am so pleased that it turned out so well, I think we were all a bit anxious but the kids that attended were all beautiful amazing kids who all lack social interaction because they are different, communicate differently or show their emotions differently it was wonderful to see them play alongside each other as well as with each other and to see the differences as well as similarities as the time went on, I also found talking to the other moms to be a great thing for me as well, its really nice to interact with other woman who share somewhat similar experiences or have the same struggles with getting their kids to interact and socialize or make friends, and well as I said before I don't socialize well myself so it can only help that as well.

I have always and will always be proud of my boys and will always encourage them to use their differences to their advantage and that there is nothing wrong with being different growing up I spent so many years trying to fit in it was only in my late teens that I finally realized that I actually didn't want to be anything like the people I was trying to fit in with and that I needed to embrace my differences and who I was in order to love who I was and find my feet on my journey, I don't want my kids to spend years of their life trying to fit in, when they are awesome just as they are =)

Insomnia Sucks like stinky cheese

As a teenager I went through periods of insomnia they would last days sometimes months, I would get by on an hour or two’s sleep sometimes none but hey it was cool I was at an age where it served as more of an advantage than a disadvantage.

Then I became a parent and sleep oh how beautiful it became, to have a full night’s sleep was like a birthday gift come early and I have reached the point where I not only appreciate a full night’s sleep but I look forward to it and am a right royal cow without it!

blended families, tecnicalities...

 

I have three sons and technically my 3^rd son is half- brother to his older brothers as their fathers are different, my ex and his wife are also expecting a boy in June, which means another half -brother will soon be here. (yes all boys our fridges will always be empty =) )

I really hate using the terms half -brother, step brother, step father or adopted sibling, they are technically true, but I will never use these terms directly with my boys, they are all brothers I don’t see why it should matter that their fathers or in the new arrivals case their mother is different and I don’t see why my kids should see it any differently.

In essence and at the end of the day we are one blended and extended family, we are linked to each other permanently through my two oldest boys and as much as we have times of disagreement or do not always get along we are family and families do not always have to get along or even like each other all the time.

The boys are excited for their new brother arrival and I know they are going to be great with him, family isn’t always about blood, you do not have to have the same parents, mother or father, it is about being there for one another and making memories together of which I am sure there are plenty to come.

 

Proud to be a mom

Yesterday was mothers day so I was looking through pictures on facebook last night of my kids and came across so many gorgeous and wonderful moments I decided to share some of my favorites...

Parenting is not for the squeamish

* Disclaimer- please do not read this post if you are squeamish

So yesterday was crazy its a new month and I had work streaming from my ears when I stepped away from my desk for a moment and came back and saw a missed call from the school on my phone my heart sank.

I called back only to be told Gabriel had been in an incident while playing at school, someone had knocked into him and he required urgent attention to the wound caused, now honestly I was freaked out but at the same time I thought ok one or two stitches maybe its not that bad...how bad could it be... got hold of his dad and he went through to fetch him.

I received the following picture 10 minutes later.... again please do not look if you are squeamish

Lunch Box Tips

The lunch box is the nightmare of many a parents daily life experience, and I agree its tough to always come up with something new especially if you have toddlers, children with sensory issues, or children who just like to change what they like often enough to drive you insane trying to get them to eat.

I have 3 kids with varying tastes at different stages of their lives 2 are adhd and its tough, I sometimes finding myself staring at the cupboard trying to figure out what to do next especially at the end of the month so here are a few tips and tricks I have learned along the way to make this a bit easier for me.

Alternate your selection

I usually have 2 or 3 set types of items that I include in the lunch boxes; a yogurt, a fruit (my kids eat a lot of fruit so one fruit in their lunch is fine) and a small handful of crisps or pop corn, the other items I tend to vary between crackers and cheese ( my youngest loves the cheese wedges the most), a sandwich or a savory muffin, I will also add in a biscuit or crunchie if I have or a packet of nuts or raisins, I find changing up what I put into the boxes keeps my monkeys happy and not bored of what they eat they also tend to eat everything in the lunchbox which I found was not happening when I packed in the same thing every day.

Bare in mind my toddler gets a full lunch and snack at school so for him a fruit, yogurt and cheese wedge with some chips is more than enough, my eldest has two breaks as he finishes later so I have to pack more.

Cookie cutter.

Purchase yourself a set of cookie cutters I got mine from crazy store and made sure that they were big enough to cut a sandwich without wastage, I got a heart, a star and gingerbread man and the kids love getting a sandwich surprise, it also cuts the crust away so I don't have mans and groans from Gabriel who seems to have an aversion to anything with a crust.

 

Notes

When Loghan was going through a tough time at school I made mini foam speech bubbles with notes on them that read you are amazing, or make friends today or you are our amazing do not forget!

These notes are very encouraging and also a nice way of showing your kids that you put love and thought into what you made and that you are thinking of them during the day.

You could even hand write these to make them even more special =)

 

Input

If you are sitting with a lunchbox half full at the end of the day ask your kids why maybe its to much or maybe they don't like a certain something you have included I'm not saying let your child dictate but it does save you wasting the stuff at the end of the day.

Treats

I insist that the kids have their healthy items if I see that they are not eating them I take out the chips or the biscuit the next day, I also try to do a treat day on Fridays or a tuck-shop day if I can afford it and behavior permitted.

 

Include utensils

For a while I could not understand complete blonde that I am why Gabriel was not eating his yogurt when I asked him he was like well mommy you didn't put a spoon in duh, so now we have a few plastic utensils that I keep on hand for the lunch boxes, that way if they get lost its not a train smash and its quick and easy, you can find these utensils for cheap at the crazy store as well.

 

A sturdy lunchbox 

I have gone through too many lunchboxes to count and often the character ones that the boys choose are expensive and small and break easily so now I use a standard large square Tupperware type container that holds everything and will not break if mishandled, its cheaper and last longer.

 

I hope you found this interesting, with these tips and tricks I have found that lunch boxes do not have to be a nightmare and can actually be quite an enjoyable part of my day =)

Marriage the second time around

If you had asked me just after I walked away from my first marriage if I ever wanted to walk down the aisle again my answer would have been a definite no, after the heartbreak and the ugliness that was my divorce I wasn’t willing to go through that or put my children through that again, I told my now hubby that at the time and he said he was happy with whatever my decision was…

As time wore on my mind-set began to change when I realized that my hubby was it for me, I could never see myself with another partner because he is so much more than just my husband, he is my partner, my best friend, my solace in sad or hard times, my light in the dark, the water to my fire, literally he is my perfect balance and every day with him is one that I am grateful for, in the end we planned our wedding in 5 weeks, it was small and intimate, everything I hoped it would be and as I look back at the pictures now even though I was not at my best body or health wise it is very clear how happy I was that day and so I decided I would like to share some of the pictures with you all.

Middle Child Syndrome… it’s a real thing

When I fell pregnant with Jesse, we were over the moon with joy, I did wonder how it would affect my 2 older monkeys especially since Jesse was also to be a boy, I had wondered about middle child syndrome beforehand but in all honestly I did not feel it would be a big deal, Gabriel was always given a lot of love and attention in both households, even when his brother required much attention due to his disorders and school antics we still took the time to give him extra love and cuddles. 

Writing this 2 years later I can tell you that middle child syndrome is indeed a thing and it is something I feel every parent should be aware of should you go the way of having a third child.

Would I have gone for a 4^th knowing this would happen… I don’t think so but I would have liked to have read up more about the issues people and their middle children have experienced in order to have made a more informed decision, and I think as all 3 of mine are boys it has only accentuated Gabriel’s place as a middle child in our family.

Basically Gabriel has become the king of tantrum throwing and life is not fair saying, he is dramatic at the best of times will often storm off or at times will mimic baby like behavior in order to draw more attention his way, we have tried to make him understand that the kind of behavior drawn from this behavior is negative but unfortunately there seems to be no reasoning with him at the best of times.

Socially he is very easy going and makes friends very easily however I can understand that with all that has happened with Loghan and him needing much extra attention at times and with Jesse being the baby it must be really tough for him and because I was from a family of 2 kids a pigeon pair, as was my hubby and my ex is one of 4, his wife 1 of 2, honestly I think my ex probably has the best understand as he has 2 brothers as well but to be honest I think we are all a bit lost at times with this monkey of ours.

He is a dreamer, he does live in his own world for much of the time and is quite happy to play on his own which makes it easy to leave him to do it and focus on Loghan for instance who cannot do a thing on his own at all.

We have all tried to incorporate more one on one time with him, but I can honestly say that in our family this is a very real thing, I would love to hear whether anyone else has experienced the same thing in their family or whether this has influenced wanting a 3^rd or more children in your family?

My ex will be bringing home another baby brother come June and it does worry me that this may cause Gabriel to go even further with his antics, for now we can only try our best to incorporate him into decisions and activities as best we can, I do try and take them out individually as much as I can to get some one on one time with them but it’s tough I’m not going to lie, as a mum it does make me feel a little sad and does often make me question whether we should have had another or if there is anything we are doing or shouldn’t be doing in order to ensure he has all the love and attention he needs, all we can do is try our best and make sure we tell him as often as possible how loved and just what an amazing child he is and how much he means to our entire family!

when patience is fleeting

When I woke up this morning I couldn't wait for my boys to come home I counted the hours and then the minutes.... we went to fetch them we hugged and they told me about their week and their weekend... and then it started.

Loghan kept annoying Gabriel, he touched EVERYTHING Gabriel was playing with, he broke down his tower and chased him around, in turn Jesse didn't want to share anything and since Gabriel is already going through the whole middle child  thing it only made him squeal and shriek for the better part of the evening spent at my parents place, now my mom has very little patience so you can just imagine how much fun that was!

We got home and they seemed to settle, they all bathed in turn, I read them stories and sat for a while with each in turn, until it was time to go to bed, then Gabriel started up again calling out to us every 2 minutes which set Loghan off in the other room because he couldn't think strait with the noise and set Jesse off downstairs because he couldn't sleep, we spoke nicely, which then led to speaking sternly, then ignoring and then eventually a hiding... my neighbors must have thought Gabriel was dying because one small hiding which I do not give very often and the monkey child screamed the house down... he apologized I hugged him and we spoke again and they both in turn calmed down, I said goodnight and no sooner was I on the last step down than Gabriel was up again... sigh.

They are now both fast asleep but my blood pressure is still elevated, and I am in desperate need of a glass of wine, sometimes these monkeys drive me unbelievably insane... but then I will go upstairs just now to peer in and they will all be sleeping sweetly as if nothing even happened I will kiss them all on the cheek and they will murmur sweetly in return, my blood pressure will settle and all the lovely endorphin's that come with the love for your kids will release leaving me to wonder why I got so frustrated in the first place... sigh... monkeys I tell you... absolute monkeys.

Its been a bad week

I've been feeling really down this week, something happened last week within our family that sent us absolutely reeling and me into a state of questioning every decision I have ever made as a mother from pregnancy up until now.

As a parent you send your child out into the care of others believing they will be safe not come to any harm emotionally, physically and so forth and then something happens to them and you just feel that your child is not safe wherever they go and that you just want to put them in a protective bubble or lock them away from the outside world, we were so angry and hurt especially for who it involved and I struggled so much and still am struggling to come to terms with it as a mother even though the truth is the problem we faced is one that is becoming an everyday occurrence in our society... it sickens me, it hurts, I'm scared I want to leave this country move to an island where all I have to know is how to trade coconuts and ride a bike..

What happened, happened there is nothing I can do to rewind time and I am pain every time I look into their eyes and know that despite our best efforts what happened still happened.

We are making headway, last week was utter chaos but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I am holding on for dear life because I have to believe that this will at some point become an ugly distant memory and that we as a family can pull through better, stronger and wiser.

I urge all the moms out there please hug your babies tight tonight because their innocence is the hope we need to pull through

Doctors visits, toddler play dates and transact patches

This week has been really emotional, Jesse has refused to eat most days this week and has complaining about his tongue being sore.

He has had what appeared to be a raw looking spot on his tongue since he was about a year old, originally we were told it was due to breastfeeding but this week it started to concern us when he wouldn't eat and started complaining about it.

So after some research and recommendations we decided to make an appointment with the dentist and see if we could get to the root of the issue.  So off we went on Saturday, unfortunately after the lovely oral hygienist checked Jesse;s mouth it was established that it was not what we thought it was ie a geographic tongue as the spot doesn't come and go or move around it stays the same and is constant, so she suggested we see a gp and thankfully she didn't charge us.

Thankfully as well the dental and medical department are within the same building so we were able to squeeze in an appointment, by this time we were even more concerned and anxious, however we went into see the gp and literally 5 minutes and a full consultation fee later we were told that he is not concerned and we must just incorporate a vitamin b as well as an iron supplement and the problem will most like resolve... are you kidding me argh.

Anyway Jesse is still not eating very much but we will see how it goes with the supplements.

Later on Saturday we went to a braai at friends who also have a son he is four but Jesse and him got on like a house on fire and had an absolute ball which really made for a great afternoon/ evening, buy this stage my neck was giving me hassles and by this morning I could barely move it I was in so much pain.

My mom came to the rescue with a transact patch but as the day has worn on I can feel the pain growing worse and worse and I literally want to curl up in a ball and cry, it sucks so badly, I just got rid of my back pain now this.... not a great way to end a weekend.

Oh and Loghan decided this evening that he wants his own room, after I just redecorated the rooms to suite Jesse the one side and the older monkeys the other side mid last year, it was a bit chaotic and Jesse wanted to sleep n his own bed but kept getting up and wondering around keeping hi brothers awake so that didn't quite work out but Im sure we will get there soon, Loghan took me by surprise wanting his own space, my baby is growing up and I;m not sure how to feel about it.

I hope everyone else had an amazing weekend and that you can smell the rain in the air tonight.

To that new mom on Fb who thinks woman are martyrs of Motherhood....

There has been a post doing the rounds on facebook I am sure pretty much everyone has seen it.

It was posted by a first time mom, basically explaining that her child is 2 weeks old and she is a magical unicorn in a sea of lazy moms who cannot keep their house clean or attend to all their kids whilst still keeping up appearances.

The post made me want to roll on the floor laughing and yet at the same time I felt such pity for this woman, because after 3 kids honey I can tell you what awaits around the corner for you when your child actually starts requiring more attention, when they start moving or even more so when you add another sibling to the mix is well… you will find out soon I’m sure.

I have always seen myself as pretty kept together, I create home cooked meals, I navigate housecleaning, raising my 3 kids in all their madness as well as raising my husband sometimes lol, I attend school functions and meetings, the list goes on and on and you know what it is hard at times it is stinking hard, there are days where I feel like super mom and there are days where I feel like the crappiest mom in the world, if there is one thing I have learnt it is that you grow into and with motherhood it isn’t something that comes magically and instinctively in most cases no matter how much or badly you wanted it.

Its ok to want to run away sometimes, its ok to spend a day in pj’s and its ok to leave the housework alone to actually be present with your children, its ok to want to drink a glass if not a bottle of wine,  it’s OK!!!!!

It doesn’t make you a bad mom, and appearances are so deceiving some of the most seemingly disorganised and laid back moms I know are AMAZING spectacular moms who give their kids their all and more, at the same time I have met moms who seem all put together but who are nervous balls of stress and resentment on the other side of a smiling façade.

To that new mom, you think you know everything and that’s fine it’s all a part of your learning process, enjoy your clean home and the home cooked meals, enjoy your time with a baby that mainly sleeps and doesn’t move, ignore the moms who have needy babies with colic, the moms who get no sleep, the moms who don’t have partners to help, the moms with more than one child, the moms who suffer from PND, the moms who struggle to breastfeed… the moms who are as you put it martyrs for motherhood…. You will learn, you will see, you will understand and when you do you will find that those moms those lazy horrible women who cannot take care of their families or home are the ones who catch you when you fall from your pedestal.

Jesse's birth Story

This evening I have decided to share Jesse's birth story.  I will share Gabriel and Loghan's stories as well but at a later stage, this is going to be a long one so either make yourself a cuppa or settle in for the long haul =)

So here we go...

Bits and Bobs

I know I’ve been a bit quiet the last 2 weeks it just come to that time of the year and it has been a bit manic at home.

Last week Friday we had Gabriel’s Graduation/ Fashion show which was too cute for words and the kids were just amazing I was so incredibly proud to see Gabriel up on that stage and he enjoyed it so much, I cried buckets and buckets to see how much my boy has grown especially in the last year and how far he has come since starting grade R, to be honest with the issues we were having at the beginning of the year we thought that he may have to repeat grade R which we had no issue with at all, sometimes a child isn’t ready and it is always best to then let them repeat especially at an earlier age, but he blossomed tremendously and I am so excited for him to go on to Grade 1 next year.

10 random Facts about me CrazyMommaofThree

I saw the idea for this post on another blog and thought it would be fun to do, it was so much harder than I thought it would be....

1.       Even though I was born in and raised in Cape Town, we immigrated to Vancouver in Canada when I was 12 for a year before we came back.

2.       I have moved a total of 11 times (only 4 of which before I moved out of home).

3.       I hated my name until very recently when I learned to appreciate its uniqueness and its ties to my grandmother who passed away 3 years ago this month.

4.       I have a tactile dysfunction and cannot handle the texture of cooked, squash, butternut, sweet potato or any veg or food with that texture.

5.       I detest wearing pants and own only 3 pairs one of which is for gym.

6.       I hate lipstick and only wear it on extra special occasions.

7.       I met my husband when I was 15, he wanted to ask me out at 18 but didn’t because I was already dating my now ex husband

8.       I do not know my actual wedding date- there was a mess up with our marriage officer and we had to remarry, it was sometime in March the following year and it was witnessed by 2 of our closest friends.

9.       We do not celebrate the official we celebrate on the day we held our wedding which is August 4^th.

10.   I am scared sh*tless of clowns, heights and small spaces

One more for good measure, I studied fashion design at Cape Tech but dropped out in my 3rd year due to my high risk pregnancy with Gabriel.