At the age of 26 I gave birth to my youngest child and at the same time made the decision to be sterilized by way of a tubal ligation, I had asked my doctor to do this once before when I was pregnant with my second son at the time I was in my early twenties and the issues within my relationship and my deteriorating mental health as a result of that was very clear, she said no, that I was too young among other things she didn’t think it was a decision that I should be making at the time and she would not do it, at that time I was angry, it was my body my decision but in the end she was right because I divorced remarried and chose to have another child a few years later.
Whilst pregnant with my 3rd son my gynea asked me again as they normally do what my considerations for birth control would be post baby and without hesitation I again said sterilization and this time without hesitation she said yes, I was still very young at the time I was only 26 but she said yes, she said yes because as a woman she understood that I was done, she listened to my reasoning's as she had before she had walked the road of 3 pregnancies with me and some of my losses she had been my only gynae and this time she saw how happy I was within my relationship but she also saw the stress and toll that 5 miscarriages and 3 pregnancies had taken, she knew that my second son was special needs and all of that compounded into how I felt my feelings as a whole led her to say yes and I am forever grateful for that, a year after my tubes were tied I ended up going through a hysterectomy due to complications and I will admit there was a period after that where I went through some internal confusion but that was not because I wanted anymore children and to this day I do not have a single regret and am very grateful that I had a doctor who chose to listen to her patients and who as a woman understood that a woman has the right to a say over her body.
I remember when the medical aids started becoming more strict about covering c sections, thankfully my c sections were medically necessary so my choice was affirmed I was lucky. I remember talking to my doctor about it and how unfair it was and she replied with; a woman always has the right to choose if a woman wants a c section I will do everything I can to help facilitate that choice as I would if the mom desires a natural birth, and that is how it should be a woman should have the right to choose as long as her and baby are safe and well cared for- home birth, c section, natural, water birth it shouldn’t matter the choice is hers to make as is birth control and sterilization!
Why is that a man can walk into a doctor’s office at 22 and get a vasectomy but a woman has to be pressing 40 with at least 3 kids and one marriage under her belt before it is even considered?