Whats the big deal- wedding rings

Gasp shock horror more often than not I don’t wear a wedding ring and for the most part I have received maybe one or two questions over the years regarding it and only one person who seemed to think that I had committed a great travesty, the irony of who that person is still makes me want to roll on the floor with laughter but anyhoo.

Personally I just don’t see what the big deal is, I get terrible eczema on my hands when I am stressed I also have the unfortunacy of having hands and feet that swell terribly in the heat so whilst my rings are relatively loose in the winter there are often times I struggle to remove them in the Summer.

That aside I have just never seen what the big deal is in fact when my hubby and I got married I ordered a ring out of a honey catalogue at the last minute it really didn’t faze me, I had a picture in my head of what I wanted and I never found it so just shrugged my shoulders and moved on, my mom later gave me my grans eternity ring and I loved it so much that on the occasion where I do wear a ring that is the one I wear.  My father never wore his ring because he was a mechanical engineer and was forever working on a bike or a car so it made no sense and I don’t expect my hubby to wear his either.

At the end of the day I am no less married without a ring, a ring is a symbol yes but at the end of the day it doesn’t make a difference to your marriage status, some people think why wouldn’t you wear it are you trying to give off the idea of being unmarried, uhm no a person who wants to appear unmarried can very easily temporarily remove their ring and lie and then pop it back on so that to all they seem happily married.

I love my husband I don’t need to wear a ring to prove this fact and I don’t owe it to anyone to wear it to prove in their eyes that I have a solid marriage, many people are unhappy in their marriages and will still wear their ring.

At the end of the day it really is a personal preference, I love my rings (engagement and ‘wedding’) and I will wear them out or when I want to but if I run out the door I’m not going to drive all the way home because I am without it and I'm not going to stress if I don't wear it for a few days or a week, am I the only one who feels this way or are there other ladies out there who feel the same? How do you feel about the wearing of rings between you and your partner is it important to you and why?

I would love to know =)

communication....

If there is one thing that I learned from my first marriage it was this that communication is everything and that although your partner may love you greatly and you them often if you do not voice your grievances or ask for help it can go unnoticed not necessarily because they don’t want to help but because life is just chaotic it’s easy to lose track with your partner, and husbands bless their heart can get pretty involved with their path through the day and full stop gave over what is it you do again, oh yeh the kids and stuff….

Don’t get me wrong I think that many divorces and separations are warranted and I always advocate the separation of a couple over the unhappiness and exposure of one’s children and self to a destructive relationship, I went through this myself but I also look at the amount of people going through divorces and think wow does no one talk anymore, has the world become that busy and people that pressured that you so quickly lose interest and communication with your spouse.

I think it has; personally it has been a really difficult past year since purchasing our home we do not make the month we severally miscalculated with inflation and everything going up, including the boys medication costs how we were going to come out at month end, this combined with the issues we have been having with Loghan, as well as some health issues on my side has put an incredible amount of pressure on hubby’s and my relationship, we have pretty much been living past each other, hubby works late and often and I am just exhausted at the end of the day after running around sometimes till 7 and then still having to get home and do everything as my hubby is unable to be home and help, I know I am still lucky, many woman and people do this alone everyday but it did all build up like a pressure cooker until this morning when I decided to say something and I have to say the look on my hubby’s face was a mixture between oh shit (I didn't freak out I remained calm lol) and why didn’t you say something and I realized that whilst I was actively moaning and making little snippy comments I didn’t physically sit him down and say hello over there I need help and I need it now, things need to change.

I love my husband but honestly unless I physically draw his attention to something it won’t happen (a problem shared by many fellow moms I know), it doesn’t help that I am not a very touchy feely affectionate person so just because I don’t cozy up to him does not mean that anything is wrong whilst hubby is incredibly affectionate and drives me insane so I know pretty quickly when something is not right with him =)

My point is I think we as moms and woman need to realist is that yes moms are amazing yes we can do so much but if we need help there is no shame in asking for it and if there is something that needs to change within the family dynamic we should not be afraid to politely lose our shit in a calm and somewhat scary manner and make sure something is done about it, there is no use in letting things slip through the cracks and before you know it you wake up one day and its too late to save the relationship, a marriage or even relationship is a two way street both partners need to work together and for each other that is in the end what a partnership is.

I know from now on I will remind myself to be more mindful and to talk things out instead of waiting for things to boil over, as a mom and a wife its difficult you want to be strong you want to carry everything and everyone but sometimes you can’t and there is nothing wrong with that, not a supermom or a super wife…. Just a regular mom and a wife and that's ok by me!

Marriage the second time around

If you had asked me just after I walked away from my first marriage if I ever wanted to walk down the aisle again my answer would have been a definite no, after the heartbreak and the ugliness that was my divorce I wasn’t willing to go through that or put my children through that again, I told my now hubby that at the time and he said he was happy with whatever my decision was…

As time wore on my mind-set began to change when I realized that my hubby was it for me, I could never see myself with another partner because he is so much more than just my husband, he is my partner, my best friend, my solace in sad or hard times, my light in the dark, the water to my fire, literally he is my perfect balance and every day with him is one that I am grateful for, in the end we planned our wedding in 5 weeks, it was small and intimate, everything I hoped it would be and as I look back at the pictures now even though I was not at my best body or health wise it is very clear how happy I was that day and so I decided I would like to share some of the pictures with you all.

Love is inperfection...

Marriage is a wonderful thing but there are also times when it can be difficult, you are after all 2 different people and you cannot possible see eye to eye on everything.

I honestly feel that people who say their marriages are perfect and completely smooth sailing are either delusional or lying to themselves, but that doesn’t mean that an imperfect marriage is a bad one.

In my relationship for instance, my hubby and I argue quite often we are both hard headed and extremely passionate in opinion but for the most part it is over before its even started and we end up right as reign no problem, there are however times when an argument will escalate to a boiling point they are few and far between but they happen like this past weekend and I am not ashamed of it or embarrassed to admit it because we are different and we do see things differently from time to time, it doesn’t mean I love him any less or vice versa I would hope.

Sometimes words can hurt more than the person realises to feel like one person matters more than another within the family dynamic or in our case where there are biological or non-biological children that one is treated unfairly or that things are not done in the way you would like them to be….

In short marriage and relationships in general are a journey sometimes it’s easy sometimes not so much there is many a day when I want to scream from frustration and I am sure the feeling is mutual but the times of happiness and understanding far outweigh them…loving one another through the good the bad, through each others faults, love is imperfection

Three years of marriage, with many more to come

A little over 3 years ago I made the decision to walk down the isle of matrimony for the second time in my life, I was scared as hell…. My previous marriage had been made with good intentions but was built on an immature love I naively thought would last forever, unfortunately it did not and it took me a long point to get to where I am today where I no longer blame my ex for the collapse of our marriage, I know now that we were both equally at fault we were both immature and I was to headstrong to believe that there was an alternative to this picturesque life I had planned out in my head and to naïve to believe that our love would not overcome the trough’s of teenage hormones and the pressure to grow up and play house all in a very short period of time and I really am sorry for that now, I do not regret it though after all I wouldn’t be who I am today if it didn’t happen…

The Husband Tag... UNCUT

Good Morning everyone... well its Monday and I am trying to be optimistic....

Anyhoo so over the weekend I decided to do something lighthearted and silly and my husband and I filmed the Husband Tag together... its really long I apologize but we had a load of fun and its absolutely ridiculous and shameless... its who we are and like I said we had a ball so I hope you enjoy and its brings a bit of laughter to your Monday....

It is just a ring afterall....

Not too long ago someone remarked on the fact that my hubby doesn’t wear his wedding ring and my reaction was just to shrug my shoulders with a somewhat so what reaction…

I remember my mom telling me that the day my dad and her got married was the first and last time my dad wore his wedding ring- he is an engineer and works often with heavy machinery etc and it just isn’t practical for him to wear a ring especially when it could result in the loss of a finger should it get caught on something…

My V Day 2015

So we celebrated this year and I have to say it was a really great day- it started off with breakfast and coffee in bed- yummy french toast, we then spent the day with the boys and I went to pick up the latest addition to our family.... Sonic the hedgehog, yes we have a baby hedgehog and he is frikken adorable ahhh I just love him so much!!!

V Day

Its almost valentines day, I cannot believe we are in February already seriously where is the year going!?

I'm not one for celebrating v day but this year we had a voucher so we decided to put it to good use and I have made a reservation at Sevruga for the evening with my parents to watch the boys for a few hours.... I would say my parents are going to have their hands full but the boys always behave like saints when left alone with my parents.... sigh

Focus on your relationship challenge.

Being a mom as well as a wife can sometimes be a little crazy especially with more than one child, trying to ensure that your children have all the attention they need as well as your partner can sometimes seem impossible.

I believe in pre-marital living

This morning I was thinking about when I left school and my relationships thereafter and basically how I did everything topsy turvy like I moved in with my ex first before marriage etc and it got me thinking about my kids and would I prefer them to be married first before living with their partners.

My answer is I strongly condone and encourage the act of living with your partner before marriage and I also believe that there is nothing wrong with sexual relations before marriage and this is why.

annoyance= love

It funny how people can be so different and yet be so attracted to one another.

I was thinking about this over the weekend when my hubby and I were sitting having some down time- my hubby is an extremely affectionate and touchy feely person he always wants to hold me and kiss me and hug me.... and I am so NOT a touchy feely person- I like my space in fact I LOVE my space- if I give a kiss its a kiss not some long out drawn make out session not that those arent great but seriously I don't like being hung onto and fussed over so it creates quite a comedic situation cause hubby will attempt to cuddle me and hold and I literally am like pushing him away and the more I try the more the persists just to irritate me just like he knows I'm ticklish as hell but at least once a day he decides to test that theory.... which is annoying and not fun... for me at least.

Juggling life as a working mom

Over the last year and a half I have had the experience of staying at home over 2 periods, the 1st was my 4 months of maternity leave with Jesse and the 2nd was the month I was booked off after my hysterectomy.

I have always said that I could never be a stay at home mom, that I need to keep busy and that I would just be bored and feel like I need adult company aside from our not being able to financially support this decision, with 3 kids we need the 2nd job even with the boys staying between me and their father it’s still expensive and my small salary goes a long way in helping us get by every month.

what makes a happy marriage ?????

Somebody asked me a few days back what I thought the secret to happy and successful marriage was....

My answer was simply well Im still working on that one, and why would you ask me.

Their answer was well you are in your 2nd marriage so I was looking for your perspective....

I didn't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult but here it goes.... I am married to most amazing man someone I would truly classify as the love and light of my life, my soul mate in every sense of the word and these past 4 years have made me incredibly happy and grateful for the blessings the gods have seen fit to send my way.