Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Three years of marriage, with many more to come

A little over 3 years ago I made the decision to walk down the isle of matrimony for the second time in my life, I was scared as hell…. My previous marriage had been made with good intentions but was built on an immature love I naively thought would last forever, unfortunately it did not and it took me a long point to get to where I am today where I no longer blame my ex for the collapse of our marriage, I know now that we were both equally at fault we were both immature and I was to headstrong to believe that there was an alternative to this picturesque life I had planned out in my head and to naïve to believe that our love would not overcome the trough’s of teenage hormones and the pressure to grow up and play house all in a very short period of time and I really am sorry for that now, I do not regret it though after all I wouldn’t be who I am today if it didn’t happen…

So I think it is pretty understandable that I really didn’t picture myself going into marriage a second time, I didn’t want the hurt and the pain that may come from something that may not work out, I didn’t want to put my children through that for a second time if something may go wrong…. But that all changed, I realised that I couldn’t base my life on what ifs and that if I was going to go into a long term relationship with these trepidations already in hand it probably wouldn’t last very long no matter how strong our feelings for each other were, I still carried a great amount of resentment and pain, emotional baggage in general and to this day I marvel at the fact that my husband was so patient and kind, he has stood through my emotional crap, all my mistrust and moods that have come and gone over the years, he is the very reason I changed my mind 3 years ago and walked hand in hand with him down the aisle 3 years ago to this very day.

The second time I was a little older, somewhat wiser, I now had a partner who completed me in every way, the yin to my yang, the water to my fire, someone who calmed me and brought sense to my strong willed somewhat too quick to action mind, someone who told me every day and still does that I am beautiful and that he loves me, someone I could and still can have meaningful conversations with for hours on end or otherwise just sit in pure silence together and content and every day I am thankful that he asked me to be his wife that I made the decision to accept and that everyday even when we fight even when we disagree we make the effort to work through it and move forward.

It’s been 3 years of adventure, there have been down times but every one of them has only made us stronger and every day when we wake up next to each other is one I cherish and one I am grateful for, I don’t say it often enough but my love I thank you, I think you for the quirky controlled chaos that is our life, our home, our children everything is more than I ever dreamed I would have to hold as my own and I know that I would not be where I am today without you and your love and your strength when I have not had my own to push on.

Thank you for the time we have had together so far and I cannot wait for the many many years to come.

Happy Anniversary my love….

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