Tuesday, 11 November 2014

what makes a happy marriage ?????

Somebody asked me a few days back what I thought the secret to happy and successful marriage was....

My answer was simply well Im still working on that one, and why would you ask me.

Their answer was well you are in your 2nd marriage so I was looking for your perspective....

I didn't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult but here it goes.... I am married to most amazing man someone I would truly classify as the love and light of my life, my soul mate in every sense of the word and these past 4 years have made me incredibly happy and grateful for the blessings the gods have seen fit to send my way.

My 1st marriage was unsuccessful, in the beginning I thought we were a perfect match but we grew apart in such a small amount of time, we lacked communication and there was no adaption or willingness to change from his side so I fell out of love and into hate.

when my hubby and I started dating it was like I had know him forever it was just so easy and natural being by his side, we just completed each other in every-way, we fight omw we fight we get passionate and stubborn fiery and crazy, but we communicate we never leave each other angry, one of us always apologizes and we always find a solution no matter how grudgingly.

We are 6 years apart which at times can be frustrating but most times it makes it even more amazing.

If you ask me what our secret is I wont say love, yes I love him with all my soul and I trust it is reciprocated but I know from past experience that love is not always enough you can care for someone with everything you have but it takes two to build and keep a relationship going.

Both your hearts, bodies and mind need to be resolved to making the relationship work, you need to laugh together, cry together, get angry together and most of all stand together, you need to be the pick me up when your partner is down, the one who says it is going to be ok even though in your heart you may not think so, the source of encouragement as well as the person who calls them on their bs, we are only human we cannot be perfect but we can strive to be our partners support that in itself is a form of perfection.

That in my opinion is what makes a strong marriage and it something that you build on everyday of every year until you are old and grey with no teeth or hair to speak of, if you can still love each other then stay strong and encourage each other till those years then I would say you have had a successful marriage.

I don't think there is such a thing as a marriage without disagreement or arguments, I personally feel that only encourages to strengthen your relationship as long as you use it to speak to each other and work through the issue.

Submitting to your partner to the point of unhappiness may keep you married but it mean many years of disrespect and heart ache, I have seen so many friends and myself included in marriages that seem great where the couple seems so happy and content and then wham they divorce and all the dirty laundry comes spilling out like laundry day in a crowed household of a single mom with to many children to handle.

People are good at hiding how they feel from one another and it is the worst thing that you can do, I am not an expert not even remotely close, I have never studied psychology or anything along that line I am simply stating my own opinion and what I have found in my own marriage.

Will my husband and I be happy forever, I hope so and I trust in heart so only time will tell, no one can predict the future we can only work on the present and mould our future to create our happiness.

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