I am so tired this morning- not only is the weather hot as a hell pit which I cannot stand but Jesse was awake until about 4am with what we think is teething pain as his molars have come through but are not completely out yet and sigh we could not find the prodol which is such a life saver, we looked everywhere and it has just vanished into thin air.... that's just great.
So aside from it being hot he was extremely miserable did not sleep for more than a few minutes at a time up until the wee hours and he is a wriggle worm so you cannot risk falling asleep and him falling off the bed.
So of course spirits are very low this morning, it crossed my mind as to whether it was meant to be that Jesse is our last baby as its just been so hectic everything has happened everything has been more extreme- the teething included I wish we could make it all better, I have had a few friends approach me about his surgery with much encouragement and kind words- I know its a small routine surgery and I know as everyone has told me that it is for the better and he will no longer get sick or have sleep and breathing issues, I cannot wait for that but this is my baby my 15th month old who will be going under anesthetic and in for surgery- I will not be able to be in the room while it happens I will have to wait outside and hope with everything I have and it breaks my heart- I think of what will happen when he wakes will he be in pain never mind entertaining thoughts of what could go wrong argh, I am so blessed to have my boys so incredibly blessed and I know that there are woman out there with children with far worse off situations or even no children but sometimes I do get down about why us why my children I just wish I could make it all better.
I know everything happens for a reason sometimes I think the reason is just harder to see, its just hard to understand why children are often put through so much for what seems like nothing.
No comments:
Post a Comment