Friday, 29 August 2014

every child is a gift

This morning the front page story of the newspaper is about a woman suing the hospital she went to for prenatal care regarding what she terms is the wrongful life of her child born with downs syndrome.

It was really heart-breaking for me to read this article, but it not only made me sad but angry....

I cannot for the life of me understand how any mother can say that her child should never have been born or that she would have terminated had she known there was something wrong, I know it isn’t easy and can’t be a walk in the park to raise a severely disabled child but there are never any guarantees when having children- never any guarantees that you will give birth to a healthy child or even give birth to a live child, you can run tests coming out of your ears and they can still be wrong, they can still miss something!

Everyone wants a healthy child it is understandable, financially having a child with special needs is very costly, the medical care and treatment can cost you more than you ever prepared for, emotionally it is heart-breaking, and physically it definitely takes it toll, your relationship with your partner and other family members also takes a back seat for the attention and time you now need to focus on that one child so it is understandable that you would want a healthy child but life doesn’t always work that way and you cannot say oh I only want a child who is healthy, who won’t give me any issues etc... even a child that is born seemingly healthy may not stay that way and every test is not fool proof, if you really want a child that badly it should not matter if that child is more special.

My bosses child is severely disabled due to doctors negligence at birth- he is the most amazing young man- so full of life and happy, yes he will never walk or talk like we do although he speaks in his own way, yes he will need constant care for the rest of his life but he is alive and happy- his parents prepared for a healthy baby and instead came home with one who needs constant care did they throw him aside no and you can see he knows that he is loved and adored and it makes the world of difference.

A disabled child is not stupid and does not lack emotion or the need for love and I feel so terrible for that poor baby, I can only hope that if the mom does not get over her issues that the child will find love in the arms of another family member or even other parents.

There are days when Loghan drives me insane with his adhd and imbalance, days where I wish I could hide away for an hour or two or just want to cry but I will NEVER regret having him, he is even more special to me and I thank the Gods every day for allowing me to be his mother in this life.

Our children do not choose to come into this world and whether we plan to or not it is our actions that lead to their existence and once thay are there they have the right to live, to be loved and cared for no matter what they come into this world with they are perfect and should always be in their parents eyes.
I truly hope that that woman realizes that and anyone else who feels the same way she does, there are so many woman who would give anything to have a child healthy or not, girl or boy it doesn’t matter and it shouldn’t matter- every life should be appreciated and we are always given our children for a reason, and they are always given us for a reason to learn and love from each other.

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