Most of my friends and the people I associate with are older than me, I don’t tend to have many friends that are actually my age so many of my friends have reached the stage where they are grannies and nanas; their children are mostly my age.
Many times I have heard them say that the love they feel for their grandchildren is such a different kind of love, that is unlike what you feel for your own children but so incredibly special.
This weekend past I realized just what they mean when I held my niece (by marriage) for the first time.
Now I am past the longing for childbearing of my own, seriously the very thought of waking for feeds and diaper changes has surpassed my need for that new born smell and pregnancy glow I am incredibly happy with my family just as they are but of course it is nice to once in a blue moon get a new-born cuddle in and then be able to hand that baby back to their parents afterwards- a win win situation all the love but none of the actual child rearing (yay).
My brother is a few years younger than me and he is in no rush so my hopes for any nieces and nephews in that regard is still some years away but I am incredibly blessed to have an incredible sister and brother in law who have blessed us with not one but now 2 beautiful princesses to love and fuss over.
Baby Anja was born over a week ago but due to the boys being ill and not wanting to bombard the family with so many visitors we drove up this weekend to meet her and as I held her for the first time I realized how true it was that the love of a granny or in my case Aunty is so incredibly different, the connection and love I felt for this sweet little soul was so very different of course holding my own children I felt absolute love but this love is just… I cannot explain it- it is just different.
I love my eldest niece just as much but I think this time the difference came in that I didn't have a newborn of my own to concentrate on as my eldest niece and Jesse are a few months apart, I didnt get to just revel in that Aunty moment but now I can.
So I got to fuss and coo over that sweet piece of perfection for a few hours and of course I got to enjoy the company of family and relax properly knowing that all is well in our world.
The boys are all doing amazingly at school- Jesse even got his first little bit of homework which consisted of name writing and such but he did so well and he was so proud, Loghan received an incredible amount of praise last week for how hard he is working and how much he is accomplishing socially and behaviour wise- I am incredible proud and it warms my heart each and every day to know he is attending a school with so much love and encouragement where I can fetch him and get a glowing report (and know it is true) where he comes home with a smile and so much to tell me, it is an amazing thing to sit at my desk each day and not feel on edge wondering what I am going to end up with at the end of the day a frustrated, angry and miserable pre-teen is what I would get to everyday for a long time and now I am greeted with smiles and excitement…. The difference at this time is just wow.
Finally Gabriel is also doing so well, I am equally proud of him and the work he is producing, he has come out of his shell beautifully and at this stage I could honestly not be happier with where we are in life.
Touch wood for the words I have said above, I know from experience that quick eagerness is often met with murphy and his law but for now I am just so (beyond) content in this progress.