This isn't the average currently post but I have been quiet and after the 10th time of attempting to write this post I am back again determined to see this one through.
It is incredibly hard to put into words the events of these past 2 weeks but in short I resigned as Director from the 'School' I helped establish. It was an incredibly difficult and heartbreaking decision but looking at it now, it is the best decision I have made in a long time.
In short my eldest son was expelled with no notice, hearing or warning from the very school I co founded it was an incredible shock to receive a letter at 4 pm saying sorry your child is to be removed with immediate effect and then to add insult to injury by saying it was not an expulsion... uhm ya the worlds removed with immediate effect... nope not an expulsion.
We removed our second son immediately and he started at a new cottage center last week.
I am just going to say this; NEVER allow someone to lift their hand to your child, never allow someone to swear at or restrain your child by means of force, never allow someone to diagnose your child or to attempt to and always listen to your children... in this regard I have failed as a parent I have allowed my trust for another adult to over rule my instincts as a mother, I have pushed away every screaming thought that told me something wasn't right and I have pushed away stories relayed to me by others. As a parent I am ashamed and it has caused significant trauma to my family which we now have a long road of healing ahead.
As a whole my middle son is doing great the change in his general anxiety and demeanor is worlds apart even his skin has cleared up completely now that he is in a new environment where he feels safe and not constantly on edge.
My eldest is currently being home schooled and again the changes in him are worlds apart, his attitude demeanor, anxiety and the anger he was carrying have all changed for the better, I have a child who smiles and laughs again, a child who doesn't fly off the handle at every turn, his work is neat and tidy, he actually wants to do his school work and enjoys it.... I cannot believe the changes we are seeing and that is in the space of 2 weeks!
The expulsion letter provided noted that the school was not the correct place for him and they were right but not in the way that they saw fit to lay out.
I am not sure what next year holds for my eldest we are looking at the options and personally I am leaning towards homeschooling, we attended Red Cross this week and conveyed the opinion of a previous educator who believed he has conduct disorder, after an over 2 hour session his QUALIFIED Psychologist along with his QUALIFIED Psychiatrist confirmed that he does not have conduct disorder and does not need inpatient treatment even after we relayed every incident no matter how small that has happened over the past few months.
As a parent of children on the spectrum please if you have special needs children ensure that the institution you enroll them at and the people you trust them to are properly qualified and have the correct training and resources they claim to have.
My heart is incredibly sore after all the time I shared with those amazing kids, each and every one of them had something special each and every one of them had a beautiful heart and leaving them was the hardest decision I have had to make, it is not however a decision that I will leave the waste side with what has come out since I left. Maybe someday I will get to see my dream realized of an opening and loving all inclusive special needs environment and school but for now I know that I gave it my all; blood sweat and tears and so much love.