We seem to live in a world where
people think they have the right to judge your financial situation when it
comes to your children, when you are struggling they look at your kids and
think or may even comment on your choice of having kids when you did not have
the financial means or look at a pregnant woman and remark on the amount of
kids they have vs their affordability and the way they live.
Jesse was planned we wanted
another baby however we were planning on waiting a bit longer so his appearance
although happily invited was not expected at that time.
Having said that financially we
were in a great place, we were doing well and could afford to have another baby
without issue, I paid off all my accounts during my pregnancy we saved and
planned around my maternity leave, I stocked up on nappies and baby items so
that when Jesse was born we would not be in a financial pickle all sorted right….
Wrong! We seemed to have planned for
everything, but there are some things you cannot plan for; we didn’t plan for
the medical issues both Jesse and I ended up experiencing post his birth or the
loan we had to take out to pay for the large accumulation of medical bills that
arose from those issues, we didn’t plan for the operation Jesse ended up
needing at a year or the various items I then had to put on account because we
had to pay a loan and couldn’t afford anything extra, we didn’t plan for my
second son to end up being adhd as well and needing an assessment and a whole
host of other doctors and specialists who charge the earth, we didn’t plan to
move (we had to) and making a financial commitment that due to the inflation
rate now has us barely scraping by every month… all of that we didn’t plan for…
So here is what I have to say to
people who judge a person’s choice to pro create based on their financial
status.
First of all shit happens and
there are such things as prevented unplanned pregnancies ie birth controls
fails stuff happens and here comes an unexpected but still very much loved
baby.
Second you have no idea what a person’s
financial situation was at conception in relation to post birth etc, our
economy is terrible, people are losing their jobs left right and centre with no
warning or notice, inflation rates go up things happen that we cannot predict
or avoid.
Lastly unless you are paying that
person’s bills or that person is popping out children in order to get
government compensation which is shit by the way and gives all those who truly
need it a bad name then you really have no say or right to judge their
situation.
You never know what can happen
you never know if you may sit in the same situation one day, how would you feel
being verbally attacked or judged for the children you may have so carefully
planned for, and money may make life easier but I know plenty of families with
loving homes and well run households who struggle to pay their bills every
month, their kids are no less loved or provided for they have what they need
maybe not everything that they want but generally because of this they are some
of the most humble appreciative and well-mannered children you will ever meet
(I am not saying families who are doing well have bad children).
It really is funny that after
having one child people are so quick to ask you when the next one is coming but
have 3 or more and everyone loses their minds at the apparent absurdity, I get
why some people chose to have one or no children and that’s great if that is
your choice then great but when someone chooses to have more or has an
unexpected addition be aware that it is just as much that persons choice to
make as yours was.
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