How did you feel when you were called mom for the first
time, or even when you held your baby or looked at them for the first time,
were you scared happy, proud…
I remember feeling all these things, the first time I held
my babies I felt the most exceptional amount of pride, joy and love…. I also
felt scared and awkward even with my 2nd and third, was I holding
them right, were they warm enough, fed enough, content enough, was I giving
them everything they needed and deserved could I give them more, was I
deserving of this miracle I held so small and so dependent on me.
Being a mom is such a strange transition, I couldn’t wait to
hold my babies and once they were here I longed for those cherished flutters
and movements of pregnancy, then they became toddlers and I longed for those
sleepless nights of breastfeeding and cuddles….that new-born smell.
So much longing for these moments that pass by so quickly
before our eyes…. I cringe at the signs of them growing up and becoming independent
and yet at the same time I love to see them change and grow, I fear for the
mistakes they will undoubtedly make and yet also long for them to try new
things and experience life as I did, I want them to be able to do things on
their own yet feel so much love when they need or ask for my help.
Being a mom is still something I am learning to be every day,
there are days when I still can’t quite grasp the term mother, I am a mom yes I
know that, I know that I love my children unconditionally and yet it is still
so strange sometimes…. I hear the words mom or mommy or even mama and think oh
yes that’s me, there are so many things I am but being a mom is my biggest
accomplishment, my biggest pride, I will never be perfect and there will be
many days where I question what or how I am doing along this journey but I’m
getting there, everyday step by step alongside my children, as they grow I
learn…. I am a caretaker, a mentor and a best friend.... I am all those things.... I am a mother
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