Tuesday, 20 May 2014

loss of a soul

I would like to write and dedicate this piece to all the moms out there who never had the chance to hold or take home their little angels, to those who nursed their pregnant bellies with pride but who never got to physically hold or nurse their baby to those who longed and wished planned and spent only to go home to a house full of preparation with nothing to fill it.

The world is so cruel we live in a world where it is more acceptable for people to talk about sex and post nude pics than pictures of loss or even breastfeeding, where people ban or report pictures of moms holding their lifeless pieces of perfection whilst it is ok to plaster networks with obscene pics of nude models and or child abuse and animal abuse.

These moms and dads deserve to grief they deserve to acknowledge their child, because it doesn’t matter when that baby passed on whether in utero or post birth, miscarriage or still birth that baby was still a baby, the heart beat no matter for how long a period it still affected the people around it, those who eagerly anticipated their arrival.

I am a mom of loss, my losses were in utero and for the most part 1st trimester but there is not a day that goes by when I don’t think about them and who they might have been, I count myself lucky, I didn’t really get the chance to plan, I didn’t have to go home with nothing but a broken heart and I have 3 healthy boys , I am lucky and grateful, not everyone has this.

The woman and men who have to face this shouldn’t have to face it alone, your babies existed you loved them and they held meaning in the universe they are not something to be forgotten swept under the rug because it makes people feel uncomfortable.

To the people who complain shame on you and who the hell do you think you are, what gives you the right to say it doesn’t matter or shouldn’t be spoken of, yes it is heart breaking yes it is not pretty but you know what if you feel that way keep it to yourself, these moments some captured some only memories are all these woman have, fleeting joy in the midst of sadness something to prove that it did happen and that their baby existed.

People abuse and neglect children when there are so many who cannot have children or would do anything to raise a baby or bring their lost loved ones back.
If you are a mom who has lost, be proud of those cherished souls you carried be proud that you were their mother albeit for a short time and be proud that they existed post pictures, songs prayers, birthday parties or memories do it and be proud, if you need to cry scream or shout do it if people complain tell them to f off because it is your right as a mother, a parent and a human being, we grieve our lost animals, we grieve over stupid things like lost opportunities but we do not allow the open grieving of a lost baby and that is wrong so wrong!!!!!

GET OVER IT and SHUT YOUR MOUTH, it is the least you can do for that person, think about it maybe you feel that you wouldn’t do it if you were in that situation but everyone grieves differently it is their right instead of being negative help them celebrate that soul for the brief time that it was offer a hand of kindness a few nice words go such a long way, you never know when you might need the same done for you.

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