Monday, 21 January 2019

Finding your tribe

Finding your mom tribe can sometimes feel like seeking out a unicorn…. on a dark day… in the middle of an ocean on an island of trolls, it is something that over the years I have been incredibly skeptical about, over the years I have had many people come into my life some have been amazing and supportive, some have been incredibly toxic, there was a period of time where I was so completely caught up with Loghan in particular that I cut everyone off and we became live in hermits for a while to scared to go out lest something happen or believing that no one would understand.

Then I met someone who brought such incredible light into my world with her presence, I met her when she decided to post online looking for other moms of special needs kids who wanted to meet up and possible start a monthly play group, out of the many responses a few of us showed up, but that meet up changed me and my life; it brought friendship and support back into my world, this friend has been a shoulder and a voice, when I am down and out she has helped me find a way back onto our path, she has helped me get up and go again to fight the fight another day, the compassion and love she has for those around her and the strength that she carries is something that is awe inspiring and I could not be more blessed to count her as a friend and part of my very small but incredible tribe.

I have also carried a few friends from childhood but the one who has become my most supportive and die hard partner in crime is honestly the one that I never would have thought to be; our paths and past has been complicated to say the least and everything that I once thought to be too spontaneous too muchness about her are the things that I have come to love most about her.  What I have found is I was scared of that muchness or too snooty to realize the true importance or irrelevance of things that I once felt were unimportant or held to much importance to, at one point I pushed this particular friend away- at a time when she probably needed the most support and it is something I deeply regret; but her strength prevailed- she is loud and outgoing with the most amazing heart, she shows support without judgement and I honestly don’t know where I would be without her, her strength and moxy is something I admire and I am incredibly proud to call her my friend.

A mom tribe is a community or group (no matter how small) of woman who support each other through this journey who understand that as much as we would like to believe it we cannot do it alone and even if we could doing it with the love and support of others is so much better- the laughs, the tears and everything in between- motherhood is a ride and a half, nothing and no one can prepare you for the love or the sadness that at times intertwines so harshly with that love; sometimes you need a shoulder or a willing ear, sometimes you need a glass of wine and a voice of reason but the support in whoever manner it presents itself is irreplaceable- my tribe is a part of me they are my family, find your tribe and love them hard, every one of them will hold a different piece to your puzzle, every one of them will provide a bit of a whole of muchness, we all need a (our) tribe.

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