Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Let’s talk life lately…

I have been trying to put this post together for a week now and every time I try I just end up going blank, my mind has become incredibly frazzled over the last few weeks and I have found it really difficult to actually sit down and think about everything that has been going on but here we are and here we go.

So first off the school term ended… ahem yay.  Hubby took some time off and has been left just a short fuse pop away from a mental breakdown, lol now you know how I feel when you used to work late every eve and full weekends my love… your welcome *evil grin*

Hubby actually took all 3 boys out to the planetarium and The Company gardens the first week of holidays which was awesome, the boys had a ball and even got the chance to see one of only two Albino squirrels in the gardens, absolutely beautiful, otherwise the holidays have been great, we got to see Despicable me 3 and its party season in our family/group of friends so there have been a few of those, I am also trying to put Loghan’s party together, it’s been a bit crazy his birthday falls literally just after the holidays, ie second day back so I have had to schedule his party for early August instead of late July.

Do you have any idea how difficult Pokémon items are to procure all of a sudden, I wanted to pull my hair out and cry but I did it through thorough investigation and searching I found everything I wanted to get for him and I’m planning on making a Poke ball cake for the family party… wish me luck is all I can say, tutorials are king but it’s never as simple as it seems.
Loghan’s report was great, our new study schedule paid off big time and I am incredibly proud of how he improved in the 2 subjects he needed to, I have to be honest I never studied as a child so it has been incredibly difficult and the beginning somewhat frustrating trying to do it with Loghan, but it has been worth it, he really has blossomed this year and settled down really well, makes me think of something my father’s said often when we were struggling with Loghan, he would say don’t worry about Loghan he will settle down as he gets older just give it time it will get easier, and it has although I would argue that it has a good deal to do with his school and surroundings as well but I do think age helps, I’m struggling to comprehend that next week my 2.5kg preemie is going to be double digits a whole 10 years old.

Then we get to Gabriel, Gabriel’s report was fine all except for Afrikaans which he failed, the problem is he didn’t fail because he cannot do the work he failed because he wouldn’t do it, this past term has been difficult and we ended up at the GP and then a neuro paed, the paed looked him over and we now have to go for an eeg because they suspect petite mal seizures are what is causing his problems in class as he fazes out completely, no one can gain his attention and when he comes round a good number of seconds later he is confused and he becomes irritable and frustrated in class as he misses the work, he claims that his brain runs away for a time and he does not know why, he is also struggling to sleep, partially thanks to a group of older children who thought scaring the living daylights out of younger kids, I am not amused guys he wakes up crying and shaking or just struggles to fall asleep I have hung dream catchers giving him a magical stone to chase the bad dreams away but of course they do still come once in a while and it is both heart-breaking and frustrating because Gabriel is my one child who really NEEDS his sleep if he doesn’t get it hell hath no fury I promise you.

The doctor also confirmed that she can see the lack of focus issues as well as the sensory issues that I have seen for a while now…

With Loghan I could tell he had differences from a very young age for Gabriel it has taken a bit longer but I have seen it for a while… some members of our immediate family are in denial and it is making it incredibly difficult to move forward and find a method we can all agree on to help him in class, at the moment we are using all natural remedies and aids but they aren’t helping to the point that we need them to, he is such a bright child and I will not allow him to fail because he is unable to focus its not fair to him, but we have all agreed to see what happens when we have the eeg done, if the eeg shows seizure activity he will be put onto epileptic meds and hopefully that will alleviate some if not all of the issues he is having, if not we will then need to decide what path we are going to take.

I know this may come as a surprise to many people as we have known that Gabriel has learning difficulties for a while but to officially be told and confirm that there are other difficulties and he may be on the spectrum just as Loghan is which I have suspected for a time but it has never been confirmed its just a whole different level, of course we need to rule out the seizures as that could be the cause of many of the symptoms which he displays but actions such as rocking, texture issues, becoming overwhelmed in crowds and with too much sound; I honestly don’t feel that those could be linked to seizures so we will have to see and take it from there but the behaviours and meltdowns Gabriel has been displaying… its Loghan’s early years all over again and I lie awake at night wondering whether we are better prepared this time and whether we can do this all over again with our sanity intact, I love my kids so incredibly much but it hasn’t been easy for the boys or us at times our paths have been littered with tears and frustration, there is just not enough support in the schooling system etc and often you are left to just figure everything out on your own, but in a hurry because you know your child is a distraction and disruption, its why I am so incredibly grateful and thankful for the boys school and that we found it when we did, also for the family and friends who have supported us through everything and who knew that when Loghan had a meltdown in the store and screamed like he was being murdered we weren’t trying to hurt him and he wasn’t just being a brat there was a valid reason, I am so incredibly grateful I cannot tell you how much of a difference a few kind words of support can make compared to harsh words coming from those who do not understand or do not want to and make presumptions that are so incredibly hurtful and unfounded.

At this point in time being a blended family has also been incredibly difficult and it all turned ugly about a week ago, we have managed to settle our differences but a lot was said that needed to be said, and many harsh words that didn’t need to as well,  but there were things that needed to be said that I had kept quiet for a long time and I think it was good that it finally all came out and we were able to move forward, we have scheduled a mediation as well to further weed out any more issues either side is having, I cannot stress how important it is to have a mediator when you are part of a blended or separated family, an impartial 3rd party that you can both trust is such a great asset to keeping both sides happy and functioning well together.
At the end of the day we just want the boys to be happy, we want them to feel loved and to live their lives knowing that we have supported them and encouraged them all the way to reach the stars because that’s what they deserve.

I hope everyone else’s sanity is still intact and that you have all had a great time at home or partially at home with your kiddos.

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