It really irks me when I hear of a fellow usually mom (sorry dads) who struggle with their ex to get them to see their child, take interest in their child or contribute to their upbringing, if my sons ever did that I would be downright ashamed of them and would probably attempt to take them over my knee no matter their age.
If you create or help create a child you owe it to that child and their mother to support YOUR child and provide them with all the necessary care and attention that they need, if you didn’t want a baby you should not have done the deed end of story, and if you have a problem with the child’s mother then do not take it out on the child as they had no say in the matter of being born.
To that point as well if you choose to remarry or start a family with someone else it is still your responsibility to make sure your other children are properly cared and provided for.
I have a number of truly amazing mommy/ dad friends who go through this with their kids and have to fight tooth and nail on a daily basis it is neither fair or right to either the mom or the child and at the end of the day that mom/dad has to try and explain everything to that child.
I’m am every so grateful that one thing I have never had to do is force my ex to see his kids and that especially since his wife came into the picture he spends more quality time with them; as someone once said to me it is not the quantity of time that you spend with your child but the quality of that time that matters- you can spend all day everyday with your kids but if you are on your phone or cleaning etc then that time really isn’t worth much, also for the most part I have not had to fight for maintenance, there have been a few occasions but for the most part I think my ex and I have reached a good middle ground and come high or hell water I will never bad mouth my ex or his family to my kids, I never want my children to turn around and say that I impacted badly on their relationship with their father or his family and I obviously will always prefer that they have a great bond and relationship.
I come from a home where both parents are still married and so does my ex and I can tell you single parenting, divorce etc. is not pretty, raising kids between two homes is hard extremely hard but I still take my hat off to every man and woman who does it alone, even though I am somewhat stupidly envious that these parents don’t have to go to the other parent to make decisions they can make all the choices on their own I do not envy that they have to be the one and only parent and support for their child/ children because parenting is already hard enough with 2 so really to all the single parents I take my hat off you are amazing and I can tell you now that your kids feel the same and are so lucky to have you!