difficult time

so another weekend has come and gone, is it just me or is time going crazy fast these days.


one of my old friends walked down the isle this weekend and I am so incredibly proud of her she is an absolutely gorgeous person and her and her now husband were simply made for each other they are one of those couples that just by looking at them you know they have what it takes to ensure their love lasts a lifetime.




this was very sad for me as well as it made me realize how I have neglected some amazing friendships in my life since becoming a mom life has just run away with me and honestly I don't have many girlfriends at all anymore.


it is my own fault and i am sorry for it they are still amazing women and we still keep in touch but I truly wish I had dedicated more time to them and fostered these friendships, I honestly didn't realize how much of a recluse I have become until this weekend.


hubby works every 2nd weekend he chooses to work the weekend's when the boys visit their dad so that he can spend his weekend off with our whole family which is great but that means it is just Jesse and I on the other weekends.


so Saturday I headed off to bayside to get Jesse some tea and just pass some time, while there my mom called and she met me at the center she spoilt the boys with some clothing items and me with some new undergarments which I am embarrassed to admit I was in desperate need of but couldn't afford and then she took us to lunch which was awesome after that Jesse was so tired and miserable we went home.


we spent the rest of the day watching movies and playing until hubby came home at 7, today hubby was home and I was feeling fluish so we just stayed home.


we attended Sunday supper at my parents and home we came.


I had to put in petrol and we are flat broke I literally sobbed all the way to the garage using money I had set aside to pay an outstanding bill.


being a grown up is so difficult when you have nothing and need to make something appear it can be so frustrating and scary. I know well I have to hope that it will pass that next month will be better I just have to in order to get through it.


I take my hat off to all single patents I have no idea how you do it because we are seriously struggling and we both work.


such is life for everyone I guess as long as my children are fed and happy then that is what makes me happy.


I was looking at the boys asleep in their beds and I just thought wow I am just incredibly blessed I have no right to complain but I am only human and I think sometimes despite how hard we try to see all the good our nature overcomes this and we get stuck in the negative.


I just have to believe that we will survive we will make it work we will find a way....