An Epiphany of sorts

I’ve spoken before about my hysterectomy and how I had times where I felt like I wasn’t truly over or hadn’t fully come to terms with never having kids again but I realized this weekend that it has finally hit me and that I’ve reached a point where I am actually fine and dandy with never having another baby and I realized that I have accepted it in the funniest of ways.

You see I have always had this radar for a pregnant woman or belly; I have often been able to tell a woman is pregnant before she announces it or spotted a very well hidden pregnant belly before a pregnancy is announced but over the last few months I have seriously lost the ability or the inclination to do this… I have lost my super power… don’t laugh….

Seriously though 2 of my colleagues are pregnant and quite prominently so… I did not notice seriously not even an inkling until they announced it and then over the weekend I bumped into my gynea who is pregnant with twins… TWINS and I didn’t notice… I mean common right… so I was telling my mum about this and she said that it’s probably because I have moved over that stage in my life, I am no longer thinking about babies or expanding my family and I’m content to focus on my own children and not everyone else’s which sounds rather cold but when I thought about it, it made logical sense and that is when it hit me, I have finally moved on and forward and it no longer hurts to think about never having another baby because I am perfectly happy with my kids and our family as is…. It’s a good feeling actually… I mean I still like to ohm and ah over sweet baby feet and tiny outfits but it’s not the same… its strange… but a good strange if you get my meaning.

It was one of those aha moments… getting older does this to you =)