World preemie day

November 17^th is world preemie day so I decided to take the time to share Loghan’s birth story, my preemie miracle.

When I fell pregnant with Loghan my pregnancy was great, incredibly easy, I only got sick one time, I didn’t have unhealthy cravings, wasn’t all that tired and everything just went incredibly smoothly and well.

Until at 36 weeks exactly I was standing in the cafeteria at my college and I felt this gush of water down my legs as I paid for my lunch, my first thought was holy sherbet did I just pee myself and then I was like nah can’t be all the while trying to act as if nothing had a happened, I finished paying for my lunch and launched myself out of there as fast as my waddling Prego self would carry me.

I locked myself in a bathroom stall and called my mum… uhm mom what is it like when your waters break… I think my mom just about had a heart attack she told me she was on her way and dropped the phone.

Cool as a cucumber I existed the stall, the girl in the next stall came out and asked me if I was ok, I said all was fine and I waddled my way up to my design floor where I came upon 2 friends of mine in conversation, I interrupted them twice before my friend actually looked at me like what the hell, I looked at her and she got the just and quickly hurried me down the stairs and into the parking lot to wait.

Honestly I was very calm and super hungry dreaming of the lunch I had paid for and didn’t have the chance to eat (typical Prego brain), my mom eventually arrived and off we went with my mom hooting and carrying on like a mad thing shouting out the window my daughter isa having a baby all the while I was just observing this spectacle quietly from the back seat.

We arrived at the hospital I was taken to maternity and strapped into the machines, the nurses came to check and couldn’t believe that I wasn’t feeling my contractions at all, then my doctor came she checked my water with one of those ph strips and sure enough it was my fluid, she smiled and told me she would see me shortly and off she went.

My ex had to be collected from school and arrived in uniform a short while later, we were both calm but excited.

At 3pm they fetched me for theatre and we were off, honestly the thought of having a preemie or that anything may be wrong was so far from my thoughts.  The inserted the spinal and my leg literally flew up not very funny at the time and reality set in and I suddenly became very overwhelmed and scared thankfully there was a doula with me and she was the greatest help I feel incredibly blessed to have had her there and she quickly had me all calm and excited again.

A few minutes later they lifted this very grey and goop covered bundle for me to see, he was wrapped and I got to see him for a few seconds before he was whisked away.

 

I still had no idea anything was amiss until we were wheeled back to my room in maternity and my doctor and the NICU doctor came in and asked to speak to us alone….

My heart SANK!!!!

They told us that unfortunately Loghan’s lungs were not developed and he could not breathe on his own that he was relying on machines to breath and had a few other minor issues, however the doctor did say that he felt Loghan was fighter and if we got through the night all would be fine…. The absolute worst news for a ftm and I was heartbroken.

A little while later I insisted that I be allowed to see him and after arguing with the nurses for what seemed like ages they took me up in a wheel chair.  The NICU was incredibly daunting all the hand washing and rules and machines beeping everywhere, I looked at our boy all covered in machines he was so tiny and my heart was shattered.

I left with my heart on the floor but made the decision then and there that he would be fine and we would get passed this.  I made my way to the NICU every chance I could and sat there for as long as I could.  Upon testing my placenta they picked up that it was an infection that caused him to come early which made me so heart sore because they had not picked it up at my last appointment just 2 days prior there was absolutely no signs or warning.

The NICU staff were amazing they made sure I always had a cup of tea, they encouraged me to talk to him and touch him and ask questions, they encouraged me to breastfeed as soon as possible and to kangaroo care when I finally got to hold him.

In the end it was Loghan’s Jaundice that kept him for over a week in NICU his breathing developed quickly and so well but his billi rubin count was far too high, on his second last day I was told he would probably go home the next day which made me so happy because it broke me to go home without him and I hadn’t slept a wink in days.

On what was supposed to be his last day however his count still wasn’t where it should have been and the doctor wanted to keep him longer I broke down in tears and after an hour or so the doctor decided we could take him home as long as we went to path care every day and had his count checked and then called in with the results to make sure they were going down.

I cannot describe how much joy was in my heart the day I strapped him into his car seat for the first time and took him home, that night was spent watching him breathe every moment and squeak I scrutinised and fussed over but he was home and he was mine.

Development wise Loghan only excelled he picked up weight fast and drank well  everything was perfect except his sleeping patterns whereby he slept best on my chest but I was ok with that, he also developed colic which we found eventually was due to a lactose intolerance so he had to switch over to soy formula from breast milk.

I cannot even begin to comprehend the full impact of this journey on our lives and the amount of joy Loghan brought into it.

We were advised by the NICU doctor that preemies did have a higher tendency towards adhd and learning disorders which at the time I brushed off as nonsense but in Loghan’s case it did happen, otherwise he has excelled in his development, he gained weight better than my 2^nd and 3^rd sons he crawled, walked everything on time and he showed an intellect above his peers at a very young age.

To all the moms who have had a preemie you will know what incredible fighters they are, they are truly amazing and the preemie journey is unlike any other, if you are expecting a Preemie or end up having a premmie please know that you and your precious baby will get through it, ask questions touch your baby hold them let them know you are there and fill their hearts with your love until you walk out that door with them in your arms and get to take them home.