Tuesday, 1 April 2014

what society deems as perfection

For those people who know me even if they don’t know me well they can probably count on one hand the amount of times pj’s aside when they have seen me wear a pair of pants some people have never seen me wear pants.

There are many people who probably cannot believe this but it’s true and there are several reasons behind it:

1) I generally don’t find any form of pants to be comfortable
2) I find pants to be very unfeminine
3) I have never felt that I have the figure for pants, I have a pear shaped figure and I have just never felt attractive or comfortable so I just don’t

In any case since my youngest was born I have lost a significant amount of weight so yesterday while out and about at Canal walk I decided to try on a pair of size 10’s for shits and giggles and they fit holy shit they actually fit I was so in awe I bought 3 pairs on the spot rofl.

So I wore a pair yesterday afternoon and everyone was gobsmacked as no one I have worked with has ever seen me in pants, I then received a great amount of comments throughout the day through to fetching my monkey from day care last night and it felt really good.

Why I chose to write this article however is two comments I received one from my mother and one from a colleague.

The 1st comment from my mom was that she is so glad I am taking care of myself because people always judge you by your looks like it or not, now I have to say even though I know my mother meant well in that comment it did sting, even at my heaviest it didn’t mean that I was not taking care of myself or at least trying to with 3 kids work and everything else it is very difficult to find the time to gym and such even if you are eating well it often isn’t enough, besides that just because you are overweight does not mean you don’t take care of yourself.

Our society hails skinny woman as the norm when actually most woman are not skin and bone tall and styled to perfection, most woman have curves, most woman have more on their plate to concern themselves with than their figure or they are working their buts off but with no results, woman are expected to run a household, work take care of children all a while looking perfect and keeping up with the level of attractiveness society deems we should adhere to.
I have been on both sides of the spectrum overweight and underweight and neither one is pleasant, when you are thin then everyone says you are two thin you look like a lollipop and nothing fits right when you have a few extra kilos you become unattractive and unappealing to most people which is funny considering that they type of people who judge are generally unappealing and unattractive, but consider themselves the gods gift to society.
I happen to think that a curvy woman is far more attractive than one of skin and bones and in essence speaking from experience a woman who starves themselves to keep their figure is generally not a very happy individual.

The 2nd comment from my colleague was that I now look my age whereas before I looked much older, I happen to disagree on that but it’s very interesting to hear what people genuinely think about your appearance and what their first impressions of you are.

Whether you are overweight underweight or what is considered the perfect weight what matters in essence is how you feel about yourself not what others think, yes it’s great to get a compliment it boost your self-esteem and such but there is no use working yourself into a tailspin to impress someone else because at the end of the day what does their opinion do for you especially if all it does is make you miserable and feel terrible.
So many people are so quick to judge saying a person should look a certain way to wear short skirts or tight jeans crop tops and such but you know what who the f cares it’s your body and if you are comfortable with your body and want to walk around like that then do it and if other people want to do it let them be.

If you like me have struggled with weight and self-esteem your whole life, you are not alone and you are defiantly not in minority, if you have a family or partner who loves you then you are perfect because you are loved through all the imperfections that society sees or imagines despite what they think or say you are loved admired and someone significant finds you attractive so to hell with society love yourself and everyone else as they are, and not for what society deems them to look like, people would be so much happier if they just learnt to not judge or at least keep it to yourself if you find that to be impossible, I know that it is in human nature to judge but I think if everyone took the time to think that for every judgment they make upon others someone else is passing judgment on them I think they would find it less amusing because no one is free of judgment someone will always find an issue with no matter how great a person you are how you look or how you treat others.

So my goal going forward from this article is to approach someone who I feel I have passed judgement on because I know I have in the past done so sometimes without even realising it until it’s done, and apologise to them for my words it probably won’t do much to erase that hurt but I hope that in the spirit of paying it forward that that person will then do the same and so forth, I also would like to encourage everyone who reads this article to approach 1 person every day with a compliment whether it is to tell them that they have a great smile of that a certain colour looks lovely on them just something small to make someone else’s day can make such a big difference.

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