Monday, 31 March 2014
the fickle and somewhat sordid nature of rose tinted glasses
It really grinds my grate when people get into a relationship for material reasons or for reasons that are less than honorable, this past weekend I had two friends share with me that they are going through terrible break ups whereby the partner was with them for sordid or less than honorable reasons, it has left two amazing woman with a broken heart and a mess of which they now have to work through and for what.
What could possibly possess a person to do that to another person to make someone fall head over heels in love with you and once they have what they want they pull the rug out from under the persons feet and walk away happy as peach because hey they got what they wanted and everything is ok in the world, in a man’s case they should be castrated in public and be forced to wear something along the lines of a scarlet letter A so all woman can see and know so as never to endure that type of pain and humiliation.
It is NOT ok, those women have feelings and it’s not just woman I have seen men go through it to, these people share their hearts and lives they plan a future and expect a beautiful relationship that will last into their old age.
I can only imagine that these people have some deep seated issue that they need to deal with, you get people who have somewhat of a fickle nature but people who purposely set out to do something like this it’s just sick.
I know of many woman who are in their relationships or are with partners because they are stay at home moms or unemployed or have a n umber of kids and can’t afford to leave their partners are well aware of it and yet they won’t let them go, but at least they are aware from both sides of their situation and they are for the most part ‘happy’ to go with this life as long as their children and them have security, there are also many people who go into a relationship where they do not share a romantic love for their partner but their partner is aware of it and it works for them fine what ever floats your boat the same goes for people with an open marriage if you are happy with that kind of arrangement then great it is your relationship and your business to do with as you please.
When you go into a relationship you expect an amount of honesty, protection.
When I got married for the 1st time I insisted on a pre nup as I have always advocated that people change no matter how much you want to make a relationship work sometimes things happen and it doesn’t work, I don’t know why but with my second marriage I now decided to leave the pre nup I don’t know why but I did and I hope and feel in my heart that I will never regret that decision, for the first time I feel completely settled in a relationship I trust my husband completely with everything we support EACHOTHER financially it is our money not his or mine just like our bills and such are ours not mine or his, he helps keep a roof over my childrens and mine heads, 2 children who by blood are not his but whom he treats as his own and of course one of our own and I could not ask for more than that, he supports me emotionally and has helped me get through so much in the years that I have known him.
In the past I have been used financially by partners or emotionally and it hurts even more than a normal break up because you dedicated so much of your time love and emotion for nothing, unfortunately when we fall in love it com,es with a pair of rose tinted glasses, often our friends and loved ones can see what we cant but by the time we realise it is to late and we are left feeling rather stupid and down trodden, we get the I told you so’s which we don’t find very amusing, I often find the best friends are those who are waiting at the other end with a stiff drink and a good ear no I told you so’s no morbid thoughts to bring you down and make you feel like you are only going to grow old with cats and no one to love.
These are the friends to hang on to the ones who say you know what it happens to the best of people and we have all experienced deceit in a relationship at one point or another, its ok to cry its ok to get angry but don’t let it bring you down because at the end of the day they may seem peachy they may seem like they have walked away with everything while you are left with nothing but in actual fact they are nothing they have nothing inside and they are the ones with the problems and issues that will only get worse as time goes on it will affect every relationship they develop in the future until at one point when they find someone to dedicate their heart to the tables are reversed and they end up heartbroken with nothing, Karma is amazing woman she waits, she watches and just when you think you will never get to see her in action she pounces like lioness waiting in the grass stalking her prey, when that time and it surely will you will find that you come to hear of it and by then you would have moved on and settled down you will turn and think to yourself thank the gods that didn’t work out and I got out when I did.
It will happen I promise you and then you can go out with your girl friends have a good chuckle and a glass of wine and just thank the gods that you are where you are and that what happened happened even though it hurt you came out stronger and better than ever and they will have paid the price for your broken heart, it doesn’t fix things or make you forget but it sure as hell helps!