Wednesday, 22 May 2019

Our bodies our choices- Woman's rights

At the age of 26 I gave birth to my youngest child and at the same time made the decision to be sterilized by way of a tubal ligation, I had asked my doctor to do this once before when I was pregnant with my second son at the time I was in my early twenties and the issues within my relationship and my deteriorating mental health as a result of that was very clear, she said no, that I was too young among other things she didn’t think it was a decision that I should be making at the time and she would not do it, at that time I was angry, it was my body my decision but in the end she was right because I divorced remarried and chose to have another child a few years later.

Whilst pregnant with my 3rd son my gynea asked me again as they normally do what my considerations for birth control would be post baby and without hesitation I again said sterilization and this time without hesitation she said yes, I was still very young at the time I was only 26 but she said yes, she said yes because as a woman she understood that I was done, she listened to my reasoning's as she had before she had walked the road of 3 pregnancies with me and some of my losses she had been my only gynae and this time she saw how happy I was within my relationship but she also saw the stress and toll that 5 miscarriages and 3 pregnancies had taken, she knew that my second son was special needs and all of that compounded into how I felt my feelings as a whole led her to say yes and I am forever grateful for that, a year after my tubes were tied I ended up going through a hysterectomy due to complications and I will admit there was a period after that where I went through some internal confusion but that was not because I wanted anymore children and to this day I do not have a single regret and am very grateful that I had a doctor who chose to listen to her patients and who as a woman understood that a woman has the right to a say over her body.

I remember when the medical aids started becoming more strict about covering c sections, thankfully my c sections were medically necessary so my choice was affirmed I was lucky. I remember talking to my doctor about it and how unfair it was and she replied with; a woman always has the right to choose if a woman wants a c section I will do everything I can to help facilitate that choice as I would if the mom desires a natural birth, and that is how it should be a woman should have the right to choose as long as her and baby are safe and well cared for- home birth, c section, natural, water birth it shouldn’t matter the choice is hers to make as is birth control and sterilization!

Why is that a man can walk into a doctor’s office at 22 and get a vasectomy but a woman has to be pressing 40 with at least 3 kids and one marriage under her belt before it is even considered?

In the US at this time new laws have been and are being passed that are making it illegal for a woman to undergo an abortion even if the pregnancy is a result of rape incest or severe medical conditions that either she or baby may have (I am not pro-abortion I understand that there are times where the difficult decision is one that needs to be made for the sake of the baby or the mom, mentally or physically), and birth control will no longer be covered by some states at a state clinic, what about those who cannot afford birth control?

You are condemning them and the children they will produce not for a lack of trying not to conceive to a life of poverty and neglect because you (the state) thinks it has the right to dictate a woman’s choice and most of this laws are being put forward by men who in the first place (sorry to the good men out there) do not have the right to make that decision, I as a woman do not even have the right to make that decision for another woman, I have no idea what another woman’s circumstances or reasoning’s are but if a woman does not want to fall pregnant she should have access to birth control if she cannot afford it then it should be provided (as should menstrual products for that matter) even without the need for parental consent- after counselling the girl in question first and ensuring she is making an educated choice even if it may not be the choice you think is right at least ensure that you are avoiding an unwanted/ teenage pregnancy, stds and ill education or even body shame and I know people are going to disagree with me but I was a teen mom ok I asked my mother to put me on birth control and she said no, teenage pregnancies are an epidemic and more and more young woman and in some cases even children are entering parenthood before they are equipped to do so and yes it is very easy to say don’t have sex well it happens, I was not an uneducated person it still happened it still happens and will continue to happen.

Woman who are told that their child is going to be born still or that their child will survive for a few hours or will be a vegetable for their whole life should not be forced to carry that baby to term or to birth a deceased baby, they may already have several children they may not be able to adequately care for a terminally ill or disabled child, that is not the choice of the state or government that is the choice of the parents who are going to raise that child and the mother who needs to carry that child. It may not be a decision I would make or you would make but it is not mine or your or anyone else's decision and that kind of decision is something I cannot imagine having to make!

It is incredibly scary that these are laws that are being deemed as constitutional!

Having said all of this I am full aware of woman who use abortion as a form of birth control and that respect I strongly disagree and think that there should be rules and procedures in place for woman who show that pattern perhaps they are misguided, ill-educated or are forced into that perhaps not and they need to be dealt with differently there are forms of birth control that last for several years now that is an option, there are options! Woman today have so much more and yet the rights that have been so hard fought are being stripped away so feverishly, I do not agree with late term abortions however I do understand that there are extreme circumstances - it boggles my mind that there are places where abortion is legal up to 30 odd weeks but other places where it is punishable by law under any circumstance and that is within the same frikken country- These laws have even affected ectopic pregnancies because according some dumb ass politician the baby can simply be replanted into the uterus… SERIOUSLY, so what now these woman are left to potentially die or at the very least rupture a tube before anything can be done, did these people even get a grade school education I would say surely you cannot be that dumb and a politician but taking our last president into account I would have to eat my words.

Yes this was a rant, I am angry, so incredibly angry for every woman and family this has and will affect!

70% percent of these laws are passed or brought about by men 100% of which will never be pregnant that should say enough.

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