If one day my kids decide that
they would like to go into mainstream then we will definitely not hold them
back but for now this decision works for our family. Physically home-schooling
your child though is something that I both support and tilt my head against, in
the right environment if the child is given the time and support I truly
believe it can be the most wonderful thing, having had to home-school Lo
several times now over the past few years I can tell you there are times where
I adore the experience; walking the journey of experience with my child,
learning with him and through him is an amazing thing however it can be equally
frustrating and incredibly time consuming particularly when you work a full
time job, your hubby works late and travels via public transport and you have
other kids to look after as well.
So when it came to Loghan; home-schooling
was not the choice I advocated for, maybe at first but once we had tried it I
believed that there were better routes to follow. As a parent I did not feel
that my child could navigate through his education and self-learning without
the aid of a tutor/parent and I believed that the lack of social interaction
would only hinder his progress even further but hey I am just the parent right
who am I to give my opinion on my own child I have only raised him for 12 years…
The problem that we face is that
even after a panel was held that included 25 professionals from all different
fields and departments not one can tell us exactly what diagnosis we are dealing
with or where to go to from here, he cannot function in mainstream and the
department doesn’t want to foot the bill for a facilitator, one has been
applied for but we have already been told not to hold our breath and they will
not cover a tutor even though we are not home-schooling by choice.
Anyhoo, so last week we were told
by the education department that we may as well register our son with a local curriculum
because they do not feel they can help us, we went to the family court on
Thursday and whilst the magistrate ordered feedback from the department and
said that they need to help us he also said that we may as well get educated on
home-schooling because that is the direction we will have to follow in the end,
over the yaers we have met many professionals some I have taken to and some I haven’t
it is the ones that get to the point, the ones that go out of their way to help
us but don’t beat around the bush, theses gems and we have had but a few are
simply amazing I know that our case is one that most choose to ignore or walk
away from because it is a headache of note but for those who have given their
time I am incredibly grateful, the magistrates words were blunt but his genuine
empathy was something that I felt to the core and I am grateful that he is
trying to help us by telling the departments who aren’t helping to get their
acts together, fighting alone is hard, having to follow up with every
department day after day on your own is difficult and time consuming and
frustrating, it takes a toll I won’t lie and lately there have been times where
as much as I am trying to just put on that smile and push forward my soul says
NO, enough now and just wants to crumble into the foetal position and disappear.
The department is saying they
cannot help; we asked for a special needs school entry with a facilitator but
they are forcing us into a position with no benefit and cannot offer any help
by way of a subsidy, facilitator or tutor and we cannot afford a minimum of 8k
a month for a facilitator or full time tutor so I am having to try and provide
my son with an education whilst I work full time, the department will not or
has not provided me with answers surrounding home-schooling i.e. how are marks
captured, how is your child assessed, we are doing the work I have gone out of
my way to piece together the curriculum on my own and we are working through
it, every night I put the next day’s work together and just hope that when I
get home it is done and I don’t have to put 2 hours in before bed because that
is a meltdown waiting to happen on its own, I have to push time in over the
weekends for the subjects that he simply cannot navigate on his own like
Afrikaans, he is a very bright child but there are areas he just needs help, I
feel as though I am completing my own schooling all over again which would be
fine if I didn’t need to work but I do.
I have also had trouble finding
an extra mural for socialisation and just to get him out of the house, most
extra murals start late afternoon and when you work until 5 it just isn’t possible
to get him there, thankfully it seems like I have found something we are
attending a trial class this evening so at least that covers some form of
social interaction… when your child turns to you after hearing this and remarks
that maybe just maybe he can make a friend by his 13th birthday…
I came to the realisation this
weekend that Lo may never get to experience simple adolescent milestones like a
matric dance…
I am frustrated beyond the point
of comprehension and as a mother I am just heartbroken and overwhelmed.
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