30... thirty.... THIRTY

So if you haven't guessed by the title yesterday was my thirtieth birthday.

I have to say I'm not one for birthdays but I approached this one with equal curiosity and trepidation, I've been told stories of anxiety attacks and meltdowns to utter elation at the prospect of hitting this age and I could only wonder how this day would feel as it approached at what seemed like an incredibly fast pace.

I woke up on birthday after heading to bed around one that morning and baking a cake until 11 pm... cause that's how I role.... just kidding, I couldn't sleep so I decided eh lets just make our own birthday cake for the office.

So I woke up and guess what... no difference not one ounce of difference... I was disappointed where was the anxiety or even the elation where was the great wisdom that one could only achieve once they had reached this major milestone... and so on my way to work whilst balancing my cake tediously on the passenger seat I pondered about my 30 years and what I have achieved or not achieved, I pondered about what I have learned and not learned over the years and have come up with a list of not so infinite wisdom which I have achieved over my years of life.

1- Life NEVER goes exactly according to plan but that is not necessarily a bad thing

2- Every single person that comes into your life whether good or bed is implanted into your life for a reason or life lesson, to guide you on your path or steer you away from another.

3- Life isn't fair, but it is beautiful, nature, life they are all pieces of a miracle which we as people are very privileged to be apart of.

4- There will never be a situation in your life where you like or agree with everyone around you, learning to adapt, accept and work through that is an important life skill, it does not mean you need to be a door mat but to have an open mind is a great asset.

5- There is so much hate in the world there is no need to ignite or fuel it

6- Pick your battles, you can fight a worthy cause without hate and close mindedness.

7- Children need to be guided yes but their voices are important and need to be acknowledged and encouraged

8- Children are a blessing and parenthood is an incredible journey with many bumps and surprises along the way, there are days when you will be lonely, days when you want to sob in a corner or scream but the days of happiness and blessings far outweigh the turbulent times in-between.

9- EVERY child is different as is every parent and family situation, do not judge what you cannot understand, from my own journey with 2 special needs children I have come to understand that things are not nearly what they appear at the best of times and a hand up far out weighs and knock down.

10- We are molded by our upbringing, our experiences through to adult hood, they help create the person that we are but they do not make us, we are not defined by our past.

11- Love is splendid and magickal fall in love experience it and if it fails learn from it but do not let a bad experience deter you from another beautiful journey.

12- There is not greater love than that of a child and no greater blessing 

13- Do not allow secrets and repressed feelings to ruin your life and relationships, communication is definitely key, even if you dont like what the person has to say, even if you do not agree with what they have to say, validating someones feelings is so incredibly important.

14- "Failure" is merely a stepping stone to success and success is so much greater when you know it took hard work and sincere effort to get there. At the same time failure is relative, never allow anyone to make you feel like a failure or that you have failed you are the only one who can define what is failure or success and whether you will allow either to make or break you.

15- Cherish the few that will stay with you through every bump, twist and turn in your journey and acknowledge their importance in your life.

I could go on but I am going to stop there... it has been a very hectic year... actually years for me and my family and our journey, I have laughed and cried and screamed I have stood on the edge feeling like I cannot recover but I have recovered thanks to the wonderful people in my life and my amazing actually our amazing support system.

It feels strange to be 30 in a way that it feels like I was 20 just the other day, the years are flying by so incredibly fast and I cannot wait to see what 2018 has in store for us.