Update of sorts

I was lying awake last night thinking about things, Loghan's pregnancy in particular.

You see of all my pregnancies Loghan was the one where I was most healthy, I did everything by the book and his pregnancy bar his early entry into the world was textbook… and you know what this has taught me, that nothing can predicted, sometimes things happen in life that you cannot explain or understand… things like ADHD, Asperger’s syndrome, General anxiety disorder, non-verbal TICS and Gran Mal Seizures… according to science when everything is textbook these things shouldn’t happen but they do, not that I would ever want them to change for anything other than that it would be easier for my child, but this is what we have come to this is who he is and no amount of going back is going to change that.

So I guess this is a bit of an update, I am still struggling to comprehend everything that we have been told, it hasn’t sunk in yet, but Loghan has been scheduled for an EEG and auditory exam, also a more formal assessment where we will confirm a diagnosis however as things stand we have been told we are looking at high functioning autism along the lines of Aspergers with signs that he may be experiencing absence seizures, he has and is also showing the signs and symptoms of both a general anxiety disorder and displaying non-verbal tics all alongside his ADHD, we have reassessed medication, he has changed teachers and we are looking at the possibility of changing schools at some point in the future if need be, these things take time there are waiting lists for years, and although we would prefer that he stay in a mainstream school at some point this may no longer be in his best interest and we will have to look at an alternative especially when it comes to high school.

I’m not angry, I am not asking myself why etc, in many ways I am relieved that we have a way forward that we are getting answers, but at the same time there is sadness for my son to know that these things may have been missed with all the hoards of doctors etc we have gone through… that ticks me off and makes me sad but having an autistic child does not, I am incredibly proud of Loghan, I want what is best for him I want him to achieve everything in life he possibly can, I’m not going to blame vaccines, or medications, diets or even doctors it makes me like a said a bit ticked that it has taken us so long to get answers but we are getting somewhere now and I cannot change what has happened all we can do is move forward, nothing is to blame and I will not find something to blame for the sake of it, I can only hope and be positive that from this point on the