Through my journey I found specific phases as I went along and I thought it may be fun to share them with all of you and see if you had the same experiences or milestone feelings as I did so here we go…
You cannot wait to breastfeed you gear yourself up for it, you read books you join forums you focus on that end result. You are positive and tell yourself almost every day that it is going to be a wonderful journey shared by only you and your baby and that it will be wonderful sunshine and roses…..
Your bundle has come into the world you are excited you want them to latch strait away and are somewhat disappointed if they don’t, even more so if your baby is in nicu, your bubble has somewhat deflated but ever positive and determined you press on.
Your baby has latched and you bask in the glory that is a breastfeeding mom, you feel proud and accomplished everything should be smooth sailing from here on out right?
Your milk comes in and you are dying at the same time the 3 day blues kick in and you find yourself turning into an emotional mess for no reason whatsoever…. Who thought you would make a good mother anyway, why are they crying do they not like you, are you doing something wrong….
You are home and somewhat settled, your boobs are sore your nipples cracked, your baby wants to feed every 2 hours and you have had no sleep, you try to stay positive and lather on creams and cabbage leaves galore… it will get better it must… the bubble must not pop…
Your supply has settled out and things are starting to look up, your baby may be sleeping longer now and you slip into a smug feeling of content you are a Goddess feeding your child as nature intended, your baby is growing and all is well in the world.
People try to tempt you with early solid introduction, but you stay strong and push on you can do this!!!!
You hoped but secretly doubted you would make it this far, you are even more smug, you question whether solids are really necessary because your supply of liquid gold has not let you down, you feel amazing, you are a supermom…. and then the 6 month regression hits and you are back to feeding every 2 hours and secretly envying the formula moms, you glare at dad snoring next to you and secretly plot accidently waking him with a flat iron… ok ok a pillow lets be nice.
Past the half way mark, baby is eating solids and you are still basking in the glory of being your babies main food source, you take pride when people tell you how well and healthy your child looks and start to question why you ever second guessed yourself at all, some may give you the eye or tell you to stop but you are on a glorious high and there is no stopping now not when you have worked so hard and baby is so happy.
Superstar you have made it so far just 2 more months and you can start weaning, you feel great and proud that you have pushed through and gotten this far, you love the time with your bundle although they are starting to fidget and move about somewhat., you have gotten so far you can do this!
Cue the chorus you have made it and just in the nick of time, your child has become a monkey overnight and has developed all new ways and positions to feed in that don’t take your comfort level into account, they may also have lifted up your top in public or shouted boob in the middle of a store like my son did….people start giving you the eye when you speak about feeding them still, they try and coax you to formula or cow’s milk, why breastfeed it’s so much trouble and they don’t need it anymore, they may even throw in that your milk is no longer nutritious enough for your baby…
So you said you would wean but it has not been as easy as you thought, every time you say no your little one turns into a mini monster crying and grabbing at you like it’s their body and not yours, they are miserable and your mommy heart just cannot take it so you give in and wind up cursing yourself for doing so but at the same time feeling so content that your baby wants and needs you still, you are taken back to their new born stage and this is the only thing that keeps you from running down to catch the broody train once again.
Ok enough now, you want your body back, feeding time has become a mixture of aerobics classes and yearning for a glass of wine; you attempt to wean again…. Must be strong… MUST stay strong
2 years wow you never thought you would make it this far, still haven’t weaned and you have given hope that you will ever have your body to yourself again so you may as well just accept it….
Beyond 2 years
One day you realise that your child hasn’t ask for boob, it happens once then twice… you get a glimmer of hope you start prepping the wine… haha jokes on you they feed again … and then nothing for a few days again and never again… you sit with your glass of wine your baby asleep and you gaze at them lovingly, you may shed a tear you think about your journey and curse the fact that you were so eager for it to come to an end, you miss those sweet moments and secretly somewhat wish that this is just a phase and they will want boob again… days turn into weeks and you realise the journey is over, your reflect on what a journey it was maybe reprimand yourself for not taking more time to cherish it but in the end you are content, you made it further than you thought you would and its hard letting your child grow up and know they no longer need you for everything… the next part of the journey awaits but these moments are some of your most cherished….