Two things I have learned...

Two of the things I have learned on my journey as a mum to boys with learning disorders....

NEVER listen to Dr Google

Let’s face it all it does is scare a person and not everything is factual, some people have certain opinions or may have had a bad experience, and whilst the internet can be great and can offer you a wealth of information and help you should never diagnose a child or person from anything you have simply read or seen online, a medical professional should always be consulted before you fly of the handle or upset yourself and your child if that is the case.

NEVER  listen to people who have no idea but think they do.

It is incredibly hurtful, confusing and angering for a mum of any child with a disorder or disability to be told by someone with what you would term a ‘healthy’ child that your child will be this or that, they will end up a drug addict, a rebel, suicidal, a zombie, that you need to ignore the advice of medical professionals because he/she read online that this medication does this or that the disorder is just boredom or non-existent, an excuse for a lazy parent or teacher.

At the end of the day you need to A. Listen to a medical professional and B. follow your instinct as a mum, you need to do what is best for your child and you know why you have had to do what you need to do, it really irks me how people feel that other people owe them an explanation for the choices they have made for their children or loved ones, it honestly has nothing to do with anyone else unless the information is offered and it doesn’t hurt to offer advice as long as it is factual or in the best interest of the person involved, I may not understand or agree with people who choose not to vaccinate but that is not my choice to make end of story, people may not agree that children should be medicated for disorders or disabilities but the fact is that some do and they need to be for their own well-being to keep them from becoming a terrible statistic or a label.

It is incredibly difficult to understand what another parent is going through with a disorder if you have not lived through it but it’s is not difficult to try and to be a helpful hand to a person instead of a doom and gloom ball of statistics and opinion, you have not personally traveled that journey it is impossible to know how much those parents have done or gone through, what they tried or haven’t tried and then to go and tell them they are run, it is just plain rude and uncalled for.

This past two weeks I have been from one professional and non-professional ear to another, personally I have received a lot of great support and kind words from people around me and it has really helped me as a mum to get through it day by day and not fall into a black hole of what would ultimately become a depressive state, I know the statistics of someone with depression and for kids with behavioral disorders, but I am not a statistic and neither are my kids, neither is your neighbor or your child's best friend, people become addicts, criminals or end their lives often with what seems like no rhyme or reason and with no ailment or disorder in site or often because there was a noted ailment and it was ignored.

I urge you if you are ever faced with a statistic or label based diagnosis please do not listen to the nay sayers or the people who think they know it all but don’t and if you know of someone in that place be a supportive hand offer advice that’s meaningful and helpful if you have it and it is asked for.

I have become very vocal as the years with my kids have gone on and still there will be things said on forums and such that make me feel incredible sad, you know you cant turn back the clock and people are born the way they are because they are if I could I would not turn back the clock anyway, because my kids are amazing and much of who they are is in spite or or because of what they have had to overcome, why would I want to change that albeit to make life easier for my kids but at the end of the day their disorders are not what makes their life difficult or mine its the people and world around us that feels the need to class anyone that is remotely different as weird or out of order, that tells them they need to change or fit in or that statistically they will end up a certain way.