7 years and a few months ago I never would have expected the surprise that awaited me, I got up for my college day as usual, nothing was out of the ordinary aside from being exactly 8 months pregnant but with my ceaser booked for 2 weeks’ time I was blissfully ignorant of a possible prem birth.
Within a few short hours my waters broke- while standing in the cafeteria paying for my lunch I may add, and I was in the bathroom calling my mom…. Um mom what do your waters look like what happens if the break.
My mom dropped that phone so fast, on my way she said, I walked…. no seriously waddled all the way upstairs to my friend who was lost in a conversation with another friend….. Mands…. Hmm hang on chas…. Mands…. I’m just busy quick….. MANDS!!!! What? I think my waters broke….. OMG why didn’t you say so- sorry Tom have to go and off we went to wait for my mom.
I cannot explain the calm that came over me, I was so at peace and at ease I didn’t even think of the possibility of having Loghan.
My mom came to a screeching halt outside the college and off we went, my mom shouting out the window- MY DAUGHTERS HAVING A BABY, flashing hazards and Amanda going, Just breathe….. um I am breathing just fine but I would like to get there in one piece.
Long story short after getting to the hospital and a quick check from my Gynea- with a smile on her face she said yes it’s your waters you are having baby today, see you just now in theater.
It still didn’t hit me and it really did not even cross my mind that I was sitting in prem labor and that things may not run perfectly.
When Loghan was born, he was simply put the most amazingly precious and gorgeous thing I had ever laid eyes on, the tears literally streamed down my face as grey and wrinkled as he was I was so incredibly happy I saw this child just glowing with love!!!
He was whisked off quickly as I was stitched up and as I was wheeled back I just couldn’t wait to hold him…. Within the hour I was getting very impatient when the doctor and my gynea came in- can we please see the parents alone….My heart literally sank in my chest I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
They explained that he was a preemie and therefore his lung development was very poor and he could not breathe properly yet on his own, that they had managed to get him onto the machine and he was now breathing fine and that if he made it through the night he would be fine- the doctor said that he was a fighter and felt very strongly that he would pull through.
My world came crashing down- this was not what I prepared for not what I hoped and dreamed of and for.
Loghan was born at 2.535kg he was 49cm long with no hair and gorgeous dark almost black eyes- he could fit in the crook of my arm and was just pure perfection- I have never been prouder than the days I first beheld my babies, I couldn’t believe how blessed I was that this tiny soul had chosen me of all the woman in the world to be their mom!
Loghan spent 10 days in NICU under Billy lights for his jaundice and on machines to help him breathe- we were allowed to hold him on the 2nd day and feed him from day 3 he was just so tiny.
On the day he was due to go home he misbehaved as the doctor termed it and he almost had to stay another night I was so upset that the doctor allowed him to leave as long as we went to have his billy count done the next day at path care, when we left the hospital he weighed 2.1kg, none of his clothing fit we had to go out and buy prem clothing which was still too big and even though I was in denial he was yellow as a banana =)
2 days later however his count had come down significantly and the doctor was very happy with him, that first night all I remember is checking on him every 5 minutes holding my breathe to hear him breathe and holding his tiny hand to scared to let go.
The first year was tough, he had plenty of feeding issues, got sick easily, had his sleeping patterns all muddled up but I would not change it for the world- we were warned by the pead that certain traits/ disorders such as adhd/add were more prevalent in preemies due to their early birth and not finishing their development and they were right Loghan was diagnosed with adhd and more recently a chemical imbalance but he is just the most amazing child and more than I ever could have hoped for, every day is a learning curve with him but I really feel so privileged to have him as my son to watch him grow everyday into the most amazing child and soon young man.
Having a preemie is not easy, I know we were lucky Loghan was not nearly as prem as some of my friends babies have been but he was prem none the less and today I wear purple to honour him and all the other preemies who have survived an early birth or sadly not survived and earned their wings in eternity.
No comments:
Post a Comment