My thoughts for today revolve around one singular word SLEEP.
Sleep is something I sadly did not appreciate through my teens; I endured boughts of insomnia quite happily and spent many a night out and about until the wee hours partying my little heart out watching the sunrise and enjoying every moment even when I had to drag myself into work or school the next day it was great…. That is until I had children.
Oh how I cherish every moment of sleep I can possibly get now I wake up thinking about getting into my bed in the evenings and when I get into the bed in the evenings I am in heaven, I lay there and many an evening will say aloud to my hubby “oh how I love our bed”, and I mean it our bed is the best home investment I ever made.
At the moment however I am suffering and I mean suffering for the last month or so my almost 6 month old has taken to waking every hour or so a night leaving me with an hour maybe 2 hours of sleep a night over the course of a month well its left me in a zombie state forced to take a caffeine pill in the morning so I don’t fall asleep while driving and so I can at least make it through till lunch at work, while mulling through the afternoon watching the clock till I can race home at night only to start the whole vicious cycle over again, couple that with running around after 2 other mischievous monkeys I am literally dead on my feet.
Yes yes, I know sleep deprivation is something that comes included in the baby package I’ve been down this road before but let me just say it doesn’t get any easier even at the age of 26 I can feel how much worse of a toll it is taking on my body compared to when I was 19 and then 22, Goddess forbid I had my children later I don’t know how people in their 30’s and 40’s cope, I cannot have any more children but I tell you if I could and turned out pregnant over the age of 30 I would just walk into the sea!
Yes it is self-inflicted as my mother would say but come on everyone deserves the slightest bit of empathy, we have tried everything my hubby and I and honestly nothing has helped and to be quite frank most of the time our lil monkey doesn’t want to know anyone else’s story he wants his momma…. Would I trade these bleary eyed moments in the middle of the night when he smiles or reaches up to touch my face bags under the eyes and all when he looks at me with a love nothing else could ever measure up to…. No I would not exchange it or give it up for anything in the world, there is nothing to replace or that could ever match up to the feeling of a child’s love, its unconditional and innocent and it makes every moment of being a mom worthwhile.
So I guess for now I just have to say adieu to sleep nice knowing you maybe one day soon just maybe we will meet again and when we do it will be a glorious reunion, to all my fellow mommies and all the pregnant fairies I share my life with heed my words, sleep whenever and as often as you can and when you do take the time even just a few seconds to think of the woman out there who aren’t sleeping and on the nights that you sit up maybe find a comfort in knowing you are not the only one.
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