The stages of being a breastfeeding momma

I was lucky enough to breastfeed Jess past the 2 year mark it is still a journey I cherish although it wasn’t at times the smoothest or most enjoyable ride, the bond and time I got with Jesse was something I hold very dear to my heart and even though I know I did my best with Loghan and Gabriel sometimes I do wish I had been able to carry on further but they were fed and healthy and that is what matters in the end. 

Through my journey I found specific phases as I went along and I thought it may be fun to share them with all of you and see if you had the same experiences or milestone feelings as I did so here we go…

1 week post breastfeeding

This time last week I was told to stop breastfeeding after been given meds that would be harmful if consumed through my milk, this time last week I was so ready, completely ready and biting at the bit for someone to give me a reason to stop breastfeeding.

I was tired of being a walking pacifier, tired of being the only one who could get my son to sleep, tired of having my clothes pulled down in public because my toddler wanted to feed RIGHT NOW.

2 years and 7 months was enough I said....

Its been a week, when I gave Jesse milk for the last time I sobbed like a crazy person, I was so overwhelmed that this was it... it has gotten easier Jesse still comes to me when he wants to sleep he curls up on my chest after asking for the boob once or twice and being told sorry my baby but you cant....we still have our special time together.

It seems silly but that time was very much valued by me as a mom, my reasons for wanting to stop were not because I didn't want that time or felt that time was meaningless, as selfish as my reasons may seem anyone who has breastfed a toddler will know how crazy it can be.

I'm so sorry my boy that I had to stop dead, I'm sorry I caused you distress and upset, in many ways I wish we had more time now that its over, but I do not regret my decision to stop.

In time you will long forget this decision and I am proud of the journey, we have come so far, I valued that special time when I had you all to myself and could give you something and a comfort no one else could....

2 years and 7 months, 3 years and 4 months collectively with your brothers and every minute no matter how tired I was was worth it, a fed baby is a happy baby but I am glad I got to do this even if only a little while for my older two.

Good buy breastfeeding....

A while back I wrote about my desire to stop breast feeding, unfortunately up until now this has been a non successful feat and I had pretty much resigned myself to being a walking pacifier forever.

Today I had to go to the doctor for various issues I have been having and I not only walked away with a small hill of med's but was advised to stop breastfeeding in order to take them.

Now I'm not lying when I told the doctor I practically willed her with my eyes, please give me a reason to stop without guilt so when I left I felt pretty fine about it.

That is until this evening, we decided I would start the med's after one last feed and as I held Jesse in my arms I burst into tears, I kid you not I sobbed myself silly, and all my hubby could do was shake his head and say but you wanted to stop for how long now as I cried and sobbed I know muffled in between, I was just so overwhelmed at that moment to think this was it the last time I would ever feed and the last time Jesse would ever feed.

Its been an incredible 2 years and 7 months journey and I feel incredibly blessed to have come this far and to have had this time especially as my last.

They are mine and I would like them back whilst they're still decent

Breastfeeding for me has always been a nice to do but not have to do, with my eldest I made it to 4 months and then we found out he was lactose intolerant, with my second I made it to 3 months because my milk dried up to nothing from stress.

Then I fell pregnant with Jesse and in the back of my mind I did have a glimmer of hope that this time may be different, it was not a have to but it would be nice I thought.

Jesse came along and from his first feed he was an absolute boob addict, he nursed constantly there were days when I could never put him down because it was all he wanted to do.  It took forever to get him to take a bottle and even then he refused it from me… but I loved it, I loved our time together I loved that I had succeeded where I had failed before it was just a beautiful experience.

Jesse is now 2 and a half and I am desperately… DESPERATELY trying to get him off the boob but nothing is working, I have managed day weaning during the week, but on weekends and at bedtime it’s a nightmare!!!!

If I say no he sobs and holds his breath if I redirect it does sometimes work but for the most part he finds his way back in a short amount of time.  I love that we have gotten to this point and I am so proud but enough already, I get the grille every time he latches and I find myself getting frustrated and upset when it isn’t even the poor monkeys fault, he wants comfort and the boob is his version of a dummy, but it is seriously getting to a breaking point on my side because I know I am no longer a food source, hell there’s hardly anything left in there as it is and I would like my boobs back now please, before there is nothing left but as my friend puts it downwards tortilla chips!

Does it get easier is there anything that worked for you

Breastfeeding and the emotional rollercoaster that is weaning

Ask a mommy any mom what breastfeeding is like and you may be hit with a host of answers, for some it it bliss so easy and some not so much, some mange for 2 years some for a month, some babies hang on to the boob and some are disinterested....

A short while ago I made the decision to wean Jesse from the boob, to free the boobs as my hubby terms it, little did I know what an intense roller coaster ride it would be.....

Mixed feelings, starting the weaning process

So there have been a few times over the last few months where I have mentioned that I have been thinking of starting to wean Jesse off of the breast there have also been many days where I have just wanted to stop and never breastfeed again.

It can be exhausting and sometimes I just feel like so much of my time is taken up by breastfeeding and expressing and I just want my body back to myself, I don't want to worry about medication I cannot take or having a few glasses of wine its selfish I know but its just how I feel sometimes. 

Extended breastfeeding, where to from here?

So I have been getting a lot of questions lately mostly from people I hardly even know (what the hell) about whether I plan to continue breastfeeding past the 2 year mark which is fast approaching at the end of this month (shock and horror.

Honestly I never thought in a million years that I would make it to 2 months of breastfeeding let alone 2 years but like they say in the movie Home I had(s) hope.

20 months of breastfeeding what I have learnt and what has helped me

I have traveled through 3 incredible journeys of breastfeeding, each one has been vastly different from the next and each with varying levels of ‘success’, I am currently on 20 months of breastfeeding my youngest son and whilst I only breastfed my elder two sons for 4 and 3 months respectively there have been a few tips and tricks I have found that have helped me on my journey, so I have decided to share them in the hopes that they may encourage or help anyone who is struggling on their journey.

Breastfeeding update- 18 Months

So I have made it into my 18th month of breastfeeding, I actually cannot believe that i have made it this far and am so incredibly proud.

I feel incredibly blessed that I have been able to experience this with Jesse even though it hasn't been an easy ride it most certainly has been a wonderful one thus far.

Crunchy Mama

So what is a crunchy mama, lately I have been watching a YOUtube channel called Mama Natural which is a really awesome channel that I recommend as a valuable information source for all moms, she is also really funny and well natural... she is what is termed a crunchy mom.

Nursing in Public

I was really disgusted and dissapointed yesterday when whilst on my way home from work one of the 5fm dj's brought up the topic of breastfeeding in public.

Now I have mentioned this previously in a blog how when I was younger I used to think it was pretty nasty and that woman must rather cover up but since having children of my own and since successfully breastfeeding for over a year now my views on nursing in public have drastically changed.

That question

so for the umpteenth time this week I was just asked the question all breast feeding moms like to shun away the whole- so when do you plan on stopping question.

I hate this question I really do and the truth is I don't know when I will be stopping I have never made it this far in a feeding journey and it is my last time I will have the opportunity.

Originally I said 3 months then 6 then 12 and now well I did plan for 18 months but to be honest Jess is just so happy and I love that I can comfort him- it is our bonding time and the only time when we have each other all to ourselves I don't know maybe its silly or selfish but I love feeding time despite all the bumps along the way- the biting the pinching, the low milk supply and then over supply, this has just been such an incredible journey and we are just not ready.

So the answer is that we will take it one step at a time and when we are ready we will stop, I do plan on stopping by 2 years of age how close to that I will come only time will tell.

breastfeeding and nursing in public

I remember the first time I saw a woman nursing a baby in public, to be honest it grossed me out beyond a point, I just couldn’t understand why this woman would want to whip it out in public or why she couldn’t go somewhere or cover up so that everybody else didn’t have to see it.