At the age of 26 I gave birth to
my youngest child and at the same time made the decision to be sterilized by
way of a tubal ligation, I had asked my doctor to do this once before when I
was pregnant with my second son at the time I was in my early twenties and the
issues within my relationship and my deteriorating mental health as a result of
that was very clear, she said no, that I was too young among other things she
didn’t think it was a decision that I should be making at the time and she
would not do it, at that time I was angry, it was my body my decision but in
the end she was right because I divorced remarried and chose to have another
child a few years later.
Whilst pregnant with my 3rd
son my gynea asked me again as they normally do what my considerations for
birth control would be post baby and without hesitation I again said sterilization
and this time without hesitation she said yes, I was still very young at the
time I was only 26 but she said yes, she said yes because as a woman she
understood that I was done, she listened to my reasoning's as she had before she
had walked the road of 3 pregnancies with me and some of my losses she had been
my only gynae and this time she saw how happy I was within my relationship but
she also saw the stress and toll that 5 miscarriages and 3 pregnancies had
taken, she knew that my second son was special needs and all of that compounded
into how I felt my feelings as a whole led her to say yes and I am forever
grateful for that, a year after my tubes were tied I ended up going through a
hysterectomy due to complications and I will admit there was a period after
that where I went through some internal confusion but that was not because I
wanted anymore children and to this day I do not have a single regret and am
very grateful that I had a doctor who chose to listen to her patients and who
as a woman understood that a woman has the right to a say over her body.
I remember when the medical aids
started becoming more strict about covering c sections, thankfully my c sections
were medically necessary so my choice was affirmed I was lucky. I remember
talking to my doctor about it and how unfair it was and she replied with; a
woman always has the right to choose if a woman wants a c section I will do
everything I can to help facilitate that choice as I would if the mom desires a
natural birth, and that is how it should be a woman should have the right to
choose as long as her and baby are safe and well cared for- home birth, c
section, natural, water birth it shouldn’t matter the choice is hers to make as
is birth control and sterilization!
Why is that a man can walk into a
doctor’s office at 22 and get a vasectomy but a woman has to be pressing 40
with at least 3 kids and one marriage under her belt before it is even
considered?
In the US at this time new laws
have been and are being passed that are making it illegal for a woman to
undergo an abortion even if the pregnancy is a result of rape incest or severe medical
conditions that either she or baby may have (I am not pro-abortion I understand that there are times where the
difficult decision is one that needs to be made for the sake of the baby or the
mom, mentally or physically), and birth control will no longer be covered by
some states at a state clinic, what about those who cannot afford birth control?
You are condemning them and the
children they will produce not for a lack of trying not to conceive to a life
of poverty and neglect because you (the state) thinks it has the right to
dictate a woman’s choice and most of this laws are being put forward by men who
in the first place (sorry to the good men out there) do not have the right to
make that decision, I as a woman do not even have the right to make that
decision for another woman, I have no idea what another woman’s circumstances
or reasoning’s are but if a woman does not want to fall pregnant she should
have access to birth control if she cannot afford it then it should be provided
(as should menstrual products for that matter) even without the need for
parental consent- after counselling the girl in question first and ensuring she
is making an educated choice even if it may not be the choice you think is
right at least ensure that you are avoiding an unwanted/ teenage pregnancy,
stds and ill education or even body shame and I know people are going to disagree
with me but I was a teen mom ok I asked my mother to put me on birth control
and she said no, teenage pregnancies are an epidemic and more and more young
woman and in some cases even children are entering parenthood before they are
equipped to do so and yes it is very easy to say don’t have sex well it
happens, I was not an uneducated person it still happened it still happens and
will continue to happen.
Woman who are told that their
child is going to be born still or that their child will survive for a few
hours or will be a vegetable for their whole life should not be forced to carry
that baby to term or to birth a deceased baby, they may already have several
children they may not be able to adequately care for a terminally ill or
disabled child, that is not the choice of the state or government that is the
choice of the parents who are going to raise that child and the mother who
needs to carry that child. It may not be a decision I would make or you would
make but it is not mine or your or anyone else's decision and that kind of
decision is something I cannot imagine having to make!
It is incredibly scary that these
are laws that are being deemed as constitutional!
Having said all of this I am full
aware of woman who use abortion as a form of birth control and that respect I
strongly disagree and think that there should be rules and procedures in place
for woman who show that pattern perhaps they are misguided, ill-educated or are
forced into that perhaps not and they need to be dealt with differently there
are forms of birth control that last for several years now that is an option,
there are options! Woman today have so much more and yet the rights that have
been so hard fought are being stripped away so feverishly, I do not agree with
late term abortions however I do understand that there are extreme
circumstances - it boggles my mind that there are places where abortion is legal
up to 30 odd weeks but other places where it is punishable by law under any
circumstance and that is within the same frikken country- These laws have even
affected ectopic pregnancies because according some dumb ass politician the
baby can simply be replanted into the uterus… SERIOUSLY, so what now these
woman are left to potentially die or at the very least rupture a tube before
anything can be done, did these people even get a grade school education I
would say surely you cannot be that dumb and a politician but taking our last
president into account I would have to eat my words.
Yes this was a rant, I am angry,
so incredibly angry for every woman and family this has and will affect!
70% percent of these laws are passed or brought about by men 100% of which will never be pregnant that should say enough.
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