Most of my friends and the people
I associate with are older than me, I don’t tend to have many friends that are
actually my age so many of my friends have reached the stage where they are
grannies and nanas; their children are mostly my age.
Many times I have heard them say
that the love they feel for their grandchildren is such a different kind of
love, that is unlike what you feel for your own children but so incredibly
special.
This weekend past I realized just
what they mean when I held my niece (by marriage) for the first time.
Now I am past the longing for
childbearing of my own, seriously the very thought of waking for feeds and
diaper changes has surpassed my need for that new born smell and pregnancy glow
I am incredibly happy with my family just as they are but of course it is nice
to once in a blue moon get a new-born cuddle in and then be able to hand that
baby back to their parents afterwards- a win win situation all the love but
none of the actual child rearing (yay).
My brother is a few years younger
than me and he is in no rush so my hopes for any nieces and nephews in that
regard is still some years away but I am incredibly blessed to have an
incredible sister and brother in law who have blessed us with not one but now 2
beautiful princesses to love and fuss over.
Baby Anja was born over a week
ago but due to the boys being ill and not wanting to bombard the family with so
many visitors we drove up this weekend to meet her and as I held her for the
first time I realized how true it was that the love of a granny or in my case Aunty is so incredibly different, the connection and love I felt for this sweet
little soul was so very different of course holding my own children I felt
absolute love but this love is just… I cannot explain it- it is just different.
I love my eldest niece just as much but I think this time the difference came in that I didn't have a newborn of my own to concentrate on as my eldest niece and Jesse are a few months apart, I didnt get to just revel in that Aunty moment but now I can.
So I got to fuss and coo over
that sweet piece of perfection for a few hours and of course I got to enjoy the
company of family and relax properly knowing that all is well in our
world.
The boys are all doing amazingly
at school- Jesse even got his first little bit of homework which consisted of
name writing and such but he did so well and he was so proud, Loghan received an
incredible amount of praise last week for how hard he is working and how much
he is accomplishing socially and behaviour wise- I am incredible proud and it
warms my heart each and every day to know he is attending a school with so much
love and encouragement where I can fetch him and get a glowing report (and know
it is true) where he comes home with a smile and so much to tell me, it is an amazing
thing to sit at my desk each day and not feel on edge wondering what I am going
to end up with at the end of the day a frustrated, angry and miserable pre-teen
is what I would get to everyday for a long time and now I am greeted with
smiles and excitement…. The difference at this time is just wow.
Finally Gabriel is also doing so
well, I am equally proud of him and the work he is producing, he has come out
of his shell beautifully and at this stage I could honestly not be happier with
where we are in life.
Touch wood for the words I have
said above, I know from experience that quick eagerness is often met with
murphy and his law but for now I am just so (beyond) content in this progress.
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