Medication; choices and judgement

One of the most heart-breaking things that one has to deal with if you have a child that requires chronic meds for learning disorders, autistic behaviors and such is the judgment that comes with it.

I cannot tell you have many people have said the following:

I would never drug my child

You know you are drugging your child right?

Do you know what goes into those meds, your child will be a meth addict after this!

Medications are an excuse for lax parenting and bad teachers

Children are to easily diagnosed these days

In my day there was no such thing as adhd

The child is clearly bored make him run a few blocks and he won’t need the meds

Your child will be a zombie why would you do that to them?

The list goes on and on and it is absolutely gut wrenching as a parent, I think the worst ones are those who back track when they realise your kids are on the meds because the ‘feel bad now’ or the ones who have so much to say and yet have absolutely no idea what they are speaking about or have no experience of their own to take from.

As a mom with 2 kids on meds I can tell you, no one WANTS to put their kids on meds… NOONE.

When we were faced with the decision for Loghan it was only after trying EVERYTHING else, dietary plans, exercise, strict routines, supplements, different schools, different doctors second, third and even 4^th opinions, and the night I filled that first prescription I cried myself to sleep… was I making the right decision, would I regret my decision, would my child become a brain dead zombie and would they hate me forever for doing this to them… I still hate giving it to them even though I don’t regret it and know they need it, I still don’t like it.

This past holiday I did not give Gabriel meds at all, I firmly believe that if possible the kids should be given a break from them over holiday periods, Loghan took his most days but that is because without them he is incredibly destructive emotionally and it just ends in tears so if we were going somewhere or if I could see he was in a particular mood that morning that required his meds he got them otherwise he went without them, it wasn’t easy some days but we got through, a classroom situation however is COMPLETELY different and todays curriculum is so jam packed and the kids have so much less time to complete the work.

If I could show you telepathically what Loghan was like before the meds and how he copes in school now the difference is astounding, I have asked Loghan many times whether he feels that the meds help him and he always says yes and I feel in my heart that this route although not one that I wanted to take was the best route to go for him, and at the end of the day it really isn’t about me or how I feel it is about what is best for my child, if my child were diabetic I would not deny them insulin, it is the same thing, when a child has what is termed a faulty or broken/ incorrectly wired circuit in the brain or an undeveloped part of their brain they need these meds to either make up for what the brain is failing to produce; to stimulate the parts of the brain that are not working in sync or not working correctly, in time with many children and adults the brain can learn to rewire itself or to work without the aid of meds but at this time we are not at that stage, it is a goal one we hope very much to reach one day but for now we need the help.

Gabriel is still a bit of a touch and go for me, his dose is very small, the smallest dose available and I can’t deny it helps him to focus but his emotional/behavioral issues are not solely based on his lack of focus etc so for him I feel only time will tell if he stays on the meds or if we find something else that will help or that will work in conjunction with his medications, thankfully he does take well to homeopathic meds unlike Loghan so we have him on a combination of both and it works for him.

At the end of the day as a parent you only want what is best for your child and to help them in any way that is needed or you can and we can so we will, the judgment and comments come from people who do not know my kids or family and over the years they have become less, they still hurt tremendously but I have learned to smile, wave and move on.

I would like to say to every parent that is considering the meds route and feels ashamed or guilty to please ignore the hate, look inside your mommy heart and do what you feel is right for your child and your family because at the end of the day that is what matters not ignorant peoples judgment and opinions.

To anyone reading this post; maybe you have children on meds yourself, maybe you don’t, maybe you have passed judgment in the past, if you have I would like to say that you have no idea how much words can hurt or what that parent and their family is going through, if you did you would never jump to judge so mind your manners and think next time you feel the need to speak about things you have no knowledge of, oh and to those who go well my parent put me on it 20 years ago I was a zombie so she took me off it, Ritalin today is not the same as it was at that time A and B; the process of diagnosis has changed and perhaps you were misdiagnosed or perhaps the meds just didn’t work for you or the dose was incorrect, that doesn’t mean that they won’t work for everyone, there is a big difference between telling your story in a nice way in order to help the parents make an informed decision and bullying or telling someone something to scare the hell out of them and make them feel bad.  Allow the parent to make an informed decision that they feel is best for their child.