Finding a purpose

Growing up I always wanted to be a mom in fact I would go so far as to say that even as a young girl I believed my purpose in life was to grow up get married and raise children, yes I wanted to be a fashion designer as well but for me being a mother was my ultimate wish and goal.

So I grew up and at the tender age of 19 I gave birth to the light of my life, well one of three; my Loghan, unmarried and unemployed but hey I was a mom I had fulfilled my purpose right? I had ambled through childhood and by the grace of the gods my teens, I never felt like I fit in anywhere or that I could do anything right, becoming a mom was going to be it for me, my purpose fulfilled it was going to be something that I rocked at.

 Loghan is almost 10 and I can tell you that as much as I love being a mother and being mother to my boys the whole fulfillment and purpose thing was not quite what I expected to be, I struggled with my identity as a mom and responsible adult for many years after Loghan was born, it was what I wanted with all my heart and yet my heart and mind was telling me that I had to do more, that there was something more another purpose I had yet to fulfill in life.

Over the years of adulthood I have tried to find this purpose, I tried fashion design but studying at the institution I chose absolutely obliterated my love for it, I tried art; pottery, painting and drawing but I never had the skill and I felt the messages I was trying to portray through my art was simply not what people wanted to hear and see, over the years I have started many novels and simply not finished them because I felt that the work is just terrible, I can go on and on.

As Loghan grew up though and started to display symptoms and issues revolving around and relating to his disorder, I found myself having to advocate and fight for his rights on a constant basis, I had to fight for his right to education, I had to educate many people on his disorder and how they can affect him in daily life, I have helped friends through the same journey and I have met many people who have helped me, through this I discovered a new purpose one where I strived to educate as many people as I could about children with special needs and what can be done to help them and what is not being done that is leading to further issues at school and through on into adulthood.

Through this journey I started my blog in attempt to share not only our story but also to reach out to others who are experiencing the same, I also as I have said before find writing to be incredibly therapeutic and have used my blog as a platform to work through many of my own issues as well as to share and network.

Through my blog and with Loghan and then Gabriel’s journey I discovered a whole new world of knowledge surrounding special needs children and even adults and I have also seen how so many children are not able to access their right to an education because there is simply nowhere for them go, their parents cannot afford private or special needs schooling and the child cannot simply attend a state school, the stories and people I have come into contact with have left my heart so sore, to know that there are so many children left to the side line without the help and attention they so desperately need and deserve.

Then I met Cindy the owner and principal of the boys school and I felt a drive and a pull to the purpose of the school and the kids who attend there, her vision to start a school from nothing, she gave up all she had to open her heart and her door to children who would otherwise not have access to an education, there is one boy who when I walk into the school simply fills my heart with such joy, he is almost nonverbal and when he takes a liking to you he will take your face in his hands or he will take your hand and walk with you, the love that emanates from that one child is so beautiful, under different circumstances he would be left without an education or social existence and why? Just because he cannot communicate in the same way as his peers, but he can communicate and through the school he has actually has started to speak here and there, that is just incredible to me and it just shows not only how important this school is to him but all of our children and the children out there who in future will walk through our doors.

This is why I joined the governing body which is something I never thought I would do, I did it because I believe that every child has a right to an education free of persecution, a place where they can be accepted and embraced for their differences, a place where they can feel loved and encouraged to reach their full potential, I believe in the vision of our school principal and I believe that the need for this type of school is growing every day, I believe in a school that encourages its learners to embrace their differences as gifts and to use them to their advantage.

I feel that I have found my other purpose, as a mother, as a woman; as a person, I believe and will strive to fight for the rights of these children and their right to a safe and quality education, I will fight for not only my children’s rights but their peers and future children in need of help, I feel like I have found something that I am incredibly passionate about and something that I firmly believe in not only for my own children but all special needs children as well.

I am so grateful to have found this journey, I believe that everyone has a responsibility to help others in life whether it be emotionally, physically, financially, through the sharing of knowledge and acceptance. There are so many ways in which one person can help someone else and make their lives better or easier… so many ways and just one can make such a difference, if we want to pave the way for a safe and wonderful future for not only our children but those around them then we need to do whatever we can, I am ever so grateful to have found a school and principle who has given so much of herself for the better of others and who continues to do so and if I can do something as simple as helping out on a school board or helping to spread awareness or raise funds then I will do so to ensure that her vision is fulfilled and we are able to help as many children and families as possible for many more years to come.

I have found a purpose I am passionate about and proud of and I challenge everyone reading this to do the same, everyone can make a difference whether you campaign for safe and enforced car seat safety like Mandy Miller a fellow blogger I adore or reach out to those who may need to help emotionally, every action counts so I encourage you all to take action and get behind something you are truly passionate about to help make that difference.