Everyone that has been here for a while will know how I feel about new year’s resolutions and that given my history of depression I find it rather difficult to be an optimist at the best of times, in reality I am a pessimist all though I would like to argue that I am a realist but you get the picture.
This past while I have taken the time to really reflect on the past year of 2016 and I have really thought about this year and where I want us to be as a family as well as personally, I am trying to make a point of being positive and quite honestly guys I can feel the change and it is… well wonderful.
Personally I have started setting aside 40 minutes every night for zumba, I have found in the past that keeping active, fit and healthy has an incredibly positive impact on my mood and overall wellbeing and the alone time in the zone helps me just vent out any frustrations I have from the day in a positive way, in order to get back onto the healthy eating train I have signed up for a bloggers challenge that follows the so fit so well plan, I know in essence it is aimed at weight loss but this year I just want to focus on being fit and happy so for me it is more about pushing myself back into the mind-set of healthy eating, I fell off the bandwagon hard over the last few months and I could feel the impact it was having on my body and general mood… I didn’t like it and I knew that it had to change, when it comes to healthy eating and even weightless the only person that can change you is you, and so far I am feeling great.
I have also started focusing on taking better care of myself, my mom took me to have my hair and nails done for my birthday in December last year and it was honestly the first time I have done anything like that in years, every single person I encountered told me that I need to take more time for myself for my own mental health’s sake as well as for the sake of being a better parent as a happy person is a better parent if you get what I am saying, now I don’t have the money or the time to have my hair and nails done every month but I have taken note and more interest in how I present myself every day and I think that it has helped me so much.
Another thing I have tried my hardest to do every day is to slow down, to take every moment with my kids that I can and if need be to leave the cleaning etc to spend some more time with them, to take an interest in their day, beforehand I would rush home, rush to get food done and the kids bathed so they would be in bed by 7 30 I now take my time and they are in bed just after 8, that extra half an hour or so has done so much for us as a family.
Finally now that my hubby is no longer working weekends and extended hours at night I have found that as a family we are connecting more and I have also found that I can start focusing on a bit of a family social life, when I started having kids my friendship circle dropped dramatically and I just found that I no longer found the time to connect with other adults my age or to find playmates for the kids we were mainly stuck at home and had to work around the complicated visitation schedule we had… it was just chaos.
Financially it is a difficult time for us but the time spent out and about visiting, having braais and sitting down for tea etc has done so much for us as a family and I am finding that we can make it work if we just plan ahead of time, the boys are happier they get to interact with family and make friends of their cousins etc and we get some time out with other adults and can relax a bit, by the time we get home the boys are tired and happy and I end up walking into work on Monday with a smile on my face…
Speaking of which that’s actually another thing, I felt like last year I had developed a bit of depression surrounding my work life, I felt like I was going nowhere and that every day was repetitive… I think I also resented the time at work because Loghan especially needed my focus and attention and I felt that by being a working mom I couldn’t give it to him… I have realised that I can and that I love my job, I like being a working mom, as much as I love and miss my kiddos I have realised that I need it, it gives me another purpose and keeps me sane lol.
As far as the kids are concerned, Loghan started at his new school last week and the change already has been incredible!!! This morning he asked me if he could swim before school, I immediately said no because it is a school day, he said ok mommy…. My jaw must have dropped, in the past this would have evoked a 30 minute minimum argument filled with tears and screaming and arguing followed by a school phone call to collect him… I hugged him and told him how proud I was of him!
I think the living situation change has also done a lot, our home is for the most part peaceful no, no more struggling every day from sun up to sun down and mentally it has had a wonderful effect on us all!
I also want Loghan to focus on meeting his peers and socialising this year, on his second day he told me the one child hid his bottle in the sand, he said that it wasn’t very nice of him but he didn’t fight or hurt him like he would have done in the past, I was incredibly proud that he stepped back and made the correct decision, I know it seems small and silly to people with a neurotypical child but for us he moved a mountain in that moment and my heart felt so full.
Financially as I said above we are not in a great space and I know this year is going to be tough… but I know that we can make it through, I just know that we can make this year great… all of us together, 2017 is going to be great and filled with many great milestones and moments and I for one am looking forward to embracing each and every one of them!